**

I go back to my room with heaviness in my step and lightness in my heart. I am so tired, and at the same time so refreshed.
Last night suddenly seems so far away. My father seems disappeared in the oblivion he belonged to before I met him. Even his face is starting to fade away.
The only face I see is Carmen’s.
In the end, I understand how, until now, a part of me has done its best to keep her still at a distance. I mean, I let her in, but not completely. There were always parts of me that she wasn’t allowed to see, to touch, to handle, to deal with.
Until now.
I don’t know if it’s been the way she was touching and kissing me, or the expression in her eyes while she was looking at me when we were making love, or the profound, intense understanding I’ve noticed in them, or the strength and love and acceptance she showed in forgiving me. The only thing I know that she opened a crack inside what was left of my shield, and she came in.
Simply.
Totally.
Maybe for the first time since we laid eyes on each other, I have understood the kind of person she is. How amazing and unbelievable and unpredictable and brave and intense she is.
And I love her. I do love her.

I open the door of my room and Alice is there, waiting for me. She’s observing attentively my black tux – perfectly clean and tidy, courtesy of the cleaner shop of the hotel.
“Hey there” I say looking at my own shoes.
“Hey yourself… How’s going?” she answer with a bright smile.
“I’m fine”.
“That’s it?”. And she blinks.
“Alright… I am feeling great. Exhausted, but great” I chuckle.
“Aw, that’s what I wanted to hear”. She exhales slowly, leaning my tux on the bed.
She comes closer and grabs my neck.
“You owe me, you know that”.
Laboriously, I force myself to look her in the eye.
“I know” I admit in a whisper.
She seems about to say something – but suddenly she silences herself. And it sounds so strange.
“Al… “ I sigh in discomfort, “Please, talk to me”.
She shakes her head for a little while, like she’s gathering her thoughts.
“Shane… You’re my best friend”, she starts, “…But what you asked me last night was the most awful thing I had to do in my entire life. Sorry but I needed to tell you”.
“I know”.
“No, you don’t”.
“Okay, I don’t. Because I wasn’t there. And you’re right”. I narrow my eyes. “Are you mad at me?”.
She chuckles, nervously.
“Probably a little. I think I’ll feel better after the wedding. You know… when I’ll replace that heart-breaking, tearful Carmen’s image in my mind with a better one”.
I step back like she’s just hit me.
“Don’t do this, Shane”.
“What are you talking about?” I say, more defensively than I would.
“This. Don’t shut yourself up with me. I just want you to understand”.
I clench my teeth.
“Yesterday, when you called me here and told me what your intention was, you didn’t allow me to say what I thought about the whole situation. You just delivered your line, told me what your message for Carmen was, and left me here. Speechless. And you know how hard that is”.
She is trying to ease the tension, I know, but I feel the seriousness of her words. So I keep myself quiet and let her speak, ‘cause I feel that she needs to.
“Dana’s death has been… is still an enormous burden to deal with. Everyday. This wedding has been the only ray of light in this dark moment. Not just for me, but for everyone of us. And for you and Carmen, above all”.
She swallows hard and sits on the couch.
“I know you’re not dealing with Dana’s death yet. But let me tell you… running away wouldn’t have been the solution. Nor marrying Carmen. Don’t get me wrong, I think you two should really get married, but just because I see how much you love each other. How much you depend on each other. And… what a bright, luminous future you can build together”. She closes her eyes. “You know Shane that most of people are not lucky enough to have this opportunity”.
I nod, silently, closing my eyes because the sadness in her words hits me too hard.
“Don’t add pain to pain, Shane. Enjoy the wonderful chance life is giving you”.
“Yeah…” I murmur, not knowing exactly what to say but, at the same time, understanding what she means perfectly.
She claps her hands and stand up, with a renewed – and still quite sad – smile.
“Alright. I am gonna go. You need to prepare yourself. And you need a shower, I can feel Carmen’s smell all over you without even nosing you out”.
“Alice?” I ask while her hand is already on the door knob.
“Yeah?”
“Would you stay here and help me? You know… with the dress and all…”.
“…Sure, loser. Sure”. And she smiles, again.