**

Our total black suits fit this after-wedding party perfectly.
Peddy and Ribho turn the amplifiers on and check the microphones.
“There we go, “Tainted” just to start…” I state. “…Three, four…”.
The music fills the room. Ped’s voice, hoarse and amazing, brushes the guests.

”You came to me as a wonderful word / Suspecting that I was loosing my tone / You prayed / You begged…”
Behind my cymbals, I can see Carmen and Shane and believe me, they are so beautiful together.
Bellissime.
Carmen sits on Shane’s lap and they’re sharing a cup of champagne. They seem totally unaware of anything going on around them. They’re completely lost in each other’s eyes.
”You came to me just to look at my soul / I was so poor that I had no control / You waited / And expected…”
Carmen bends her head and murmurs something inaudible into Shane’s ear. Shane smiles and her hand spreads possessively on her wife’s perfectly shaped back.
” You saved me / You changed me / You tainted me…”
All the guests, one after one, approaching the couple as in an endless procession. And a lot of smiles, a lot of hugs, a lot of unshared tears appear into everyone’s eyes.
” You stare at me as I stare at the bugs / Your medicine there to fill all my holes / Though I bled / Though I fell…”
Oh, they’re so happy. I bet we could have seen the aura around them directly from Italy without even coming here.
” You saved me / You changed me / You tainted me…”

**

“Are you happy?” I ask, and my voice comes out low and a bit insecure.
Carmen’s watching me with her eyes wide open. I can feel her fingernails brushing the nape of my neck.
“Shane… Of course I am…” she answers, sweetly.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, tonight.
I don’t know why I feel so overwhelmed by every little thing I see, I hear, I sense. It’s like something has peeled me completely and now every inch of my naked body is reacting practically to everything.
It’s like all of my senses are more sharpening and perceptive, it’s like…
It’s like opening my heart completely to this woman is turning me into a more emotionally responsive person, it’s like my total passivity in terms of love is turning into an acute – or maybe chronic! – and clearly defined keenness.
I close my eyes and listen to the music.
The band is performing a song by Pearl Jam.

“A man lies in his bed in a room with no door
He waits, hoping for a presence or something, anything to enter
After spending half his life searching
He still felt as blank as the ceiling at which he stared
He is alive, but feels absolutely nothing, so is he?”
The singer’s voice speaks, in a plain tone.
I feel widened.

“When he was six, he believed that the moon overhead followed him
By nine, he deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact, no trade-backs
So this is what it’s like to be an adult?
If he only knew now what he knew then…”
If I only knew then what it feels like to be complete.

“Lying sideways atop crumpled sheets and no covers
He decides to dream…Dream up a new self…For himself”
With my eyes still closed, I feel Carmen’s lips kissing my head, repeatedly.
That seducing voice starts to sing, in a low baritone timbre.

“I’m open
I’m open…
Come in.
I’m open
I’m open…
Come in
Come in”
Yeah. This is exactly how I feel.
I’m open, Carmen.
Come in.

**

Ok, just some precise statements
The three songs included in this chapter are:

1) Savin’ me by Nickleback
2) Tainted by Shame
3) I’m Open by Pearl Jam