“Why did you let me in?” why the hell did I say that?

Why are you ruining this Shane? I want to see her naked… why do you torment yourself so much with all these questions? Why are you so confused when you already know the answer… it all comes down to you dying. That’s all that matters Shane… death is what matters.

Her smile fades, she looks sad now… confused. What is she thinking? What is going on in that head of hers? She walks away with her arms folded… the door left open so I can watch her every move. Getting up, and the room sways for a second…I never realised how long a second was before. Carmen, she walks to the counter… how long have I been out of it? How long have I been here?

More questions about time Shane? This is getting old…I should kill you right now. Just to get you to stop whining about time, about death. Just stop.

“Why Carmen?” leaning in the door way only because I don’t think I can walk any farther. “Is it because of Alice? Because I’m dying?”

She turns with that deadly glare, one that says she’ll kill me. Ha I’m not scared of it anymore…I know what will kill me. I know what will happen. I’m scared of being left alone.

Do you know shaney? You know what’s going to happen? You know when? You know…everything don’t you? But you don’t know the real reason why she let you in here do you?

“You’re not going to die Shane…. You want to know?” she walks over, her hand pointing at me. Her lips pursed together, her eyes almost black in their fury. “I tried to forget you… I tried for so long and so hard…. I couldn’t, no matter what you were there Shane. You were whispering things in my ear, holding me as I fell asleep…you were here. And the fact that I never saw you or heard from you hurt me…. Why did you do it Shane?”

She might hit me… her hand is shaking. She’s so close that I can smell her…that I can feel the heat from her. I can kiss her before she would even know what’s happening.