Christine stood sighing. Moving closer to the blonde, she began explaining softly. “About two months ago, Spencer thought she was pregnant.” She paused at Paula’s sharp inhalation, her widened eyes. “They went to her doctor just to make sure…and that’s when they found out why her period stopped. She has premature ovarian failure.”

Paula’s face sagged, suddenly making her appear older. Her hand covered her mouth, brow furrowing as she looked at the brunette, her mind struggling to comprehend. “What?”

Christine couldn’t stop her tears as Paula continued to stare, eyes brimming. She forced herself to keep going. “She won’t eat or sleep, she just lays in bed crying all day. I’ve never seen her like this. Ash asked me to stay with her during the day because we’ve been too scared to leave her alone.”

Shocked, Christine looked down at Paula’s hand gripping her arm tightly, her knuckles turning white. “Maybe…it could be a mistake.” Shaking her head sadly, she whispered. “Honey, Ash took her to four more doctors…it’s not a mistake…she has it Paula.” For the first time, the women embraced, Christine holding Paula up as she collapsed against the slightly smaller woman. “She needs you…she needs you so badly right now. Please…come with me tonight.”

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The car was quiet, only the low hum of tires against asphalt disturbing the silent night. Paula’s eyes were closed, her head pressed against the car’s window. Christine would have thought she was asleep except for the hand intertwined with her own gently squeezing hers every few minutes. Not wanting to break the calm, Christine hesitated before speaking softly. “I remember the night Ash told me she loved Spence. It’s not something you ever expect to hear…your daughter truly loving another woman. Even with Ash…I would find myself thinking that eventually this would be stop, she would start dating again and this whole thing would just be…over.”

“Chris…” Paula pointed to a gas station just up ahead, whispering. “Pull over.” Nodding, she did as she was asked. Pulling into the store’s lot, Christine parked just outside the large circle of light surrounding the station, leaving the car in shadow. After turning the motor off, she leaned forward, turning her face away from the blonde’s. Another squeeze of her hand urged her to continue. Coughing softly, she tried to clear the lump from her throat. “I was holding her…I had been for the last three days. We were both so tired…she couldn’t sleep with the pain…it was horrible. Sometimes…I couldn’t stop her from shaking…” Christine sighed, grateful for the arms suddenly surrounding her, she let herself be held. “It was our worst night…she would make this face…God…it was like something was trapped inside her…clawing to get out. Ash was so afraid for me, I couldn’t stop crying. She kept rubbing my arm telling me she was okay, that she just had to get through this because her angel was waiting for her. It scared me…it scared me so bad to see that kind of love.”

“Spencer…she’s so beautiful…her sprit…it’s just beautiful. She loves so quietly…just listening, gently urging, expecting all of us to do better. I look at my daughter, at everything’s she accomplished in her life and I know none of it would have been possible without their love. She’s my friend, Paula…probably my best. We have to be there for her right now…to give her whatever she needs. She’s done it for all of us so many times, never asking for anything in return. I know you don’t agree with what our daughters are doing, but when they look at each other can’t you feel it?” Pulling back, Christine stared into Paula’s eyes, placing her hands lightly on her shoulders. “How can you honestly believe that this is still a choice for either of them?”

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Both women stared at Ashley, shocked. Her large, brown eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, her body appearing shrunken in the cavernous sweat shirt she wore. Christine pulled her daughter to her chest, cooing to her gently. “I can’t get her to stop mom. I’ve been trying for hours…she just keeps crying. It’s all my fault…” Still holding her daughter, Christine grabbed Paula’s hand, pulling her into the darkened house. They trudged silently along the short hallway, stopping just outside the nursery’s door. The moonlight made her appear almost translucent. Spencer’s body was curled into a tight ball her head resting against the back of the rocking chair. Paula slowly approached her daughter, her eyes widening as she moved closer. She’s gotten so small. All the soft curves of her body had changed to hard angles of jutting bones.

Humming softly, Paula sat beside her daughter, pulling her almost weightless body into her lap. Spencer’s loud, keening whine continued as she adjusted, wrapping her arms around her daughter’s body, kissing her sweaty forehead. Paula rocked slowly, kissing her eyelids, cheeks, and nose whispering softly. “Do you know how much I love you…how proud I am of you? You’re my sweet, baby girl.” Exhaling softly, Paula released the breath that she had been holding as her daughter finally quieted. Pressing her lips to Spencer’s forehead, she whispered gently, “I love you so much baby…you’re my special, special girl.”