I’m starting to feel really guilty, I’m just another one of those people.

“What? Who is your father?” I asked, I really had no idea

“See you didn’t even know that, you’re genuine Spencer”

“No really, who is your father?” I really wanted to know

“I’ll let her tell you, if you could see you guys from my point of view you’d know what I was talking about. The stares, the glances, your subtle touching, you’re both aching for it to become something real”

“It’s not that simple, what happens at the end of the week? When we have to leave this place and be separated, I can’t go from having her to being completely cut off, I just can’t do that.” I’m starting to get upset again

“So you figure it out when it gets here” she replies

“You don’t think I just wish that I could be with her, I’m trying to save both of us from getting in too deep just to be hurt in the end. Ashley was right the house always wins, I can’t stop thinking about her, I’m scared I’ve never felt this for anyone before especially not another girl. I’m scared I won’t be able to say goodbye, i’m scared to go back to my life and pretend everything is fine and normal, resort to talking on the phone every night before bed? Then one night we’ll forget to call each other and that will turn into multiple times until the feelings we once had for each other die out because we’re so far away from each other. Even if it gets serious and we visit each other, there will always be a goodbye and more time away. What’s the point, there is no point it will never work.”

I’m literally biting my lip so that I won’t let the tears spill out of my eyes, I didn’t want to think about it. I was doing a good job of pretending that I was fine, when in fact I wasn’t on any level. I’m an emotional mess and even though I know it wasn’t her intention to upset me I can’t seem to control myself anymore, I don’t want her to think that I’m blaming her for my sudden outburst. Blake looks taken a back