Go ahead and take it Shane…it might be your last meal, hope it’s good. I don’t want that Shane, send it away. Hey Shane, what are you doing here? I thought you wanted to see her…I thought you wanted her to save you Shane. Shane, pay attention. They think your losing your mind, Shane. Are you going to be ok?

I smile at her that last voice echoing in my head, blocking out the others for just a few moments. She walks back to the grill, her hand on Kit’s shoulder and I know they’re talking about me. I can tell by the way Bette is whispering in her ear…the way Kit is glancing over. I should say something; do something to make them stop worrying.

You know what they want to hear Shane…why don’t you lie and tell them that? What’s another lie? They can’t even tell when you’re lying anymore; they can’t even tell who you are anymore. You’re all alone Shane, just like before. I’m not going anywhere Shane, because what you and I have is rare.

“Hey Bette?” my voice sounds weird like it doesn’t belong to me. “Do you have like Advil or something, I’ve got a headache.”

I try to say it quietly, normally like nothing is happening. Well I guess that’s what I’m trying to do…I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I think I spoke too loudly because they’re all looking at me now. These scared and sad looks on all of their faces. This can’t be it…it’s just a headache, who would’ve thought that a head ache would cause such trouble.

“Yeah sure in the kitchen…I’ll get it for you.” she runs into the house as fast and quietly as possible.

They won’t stop looking at me, I feel like I’m in a cage at the circus. Step right up and watch the freak only 25 cents. It’s been like this since the hospital, people watching me every minute of the day. There it is again, time…why is it bothering me so much? Why does it keep sneaking up on me? Why is it now that I notice what it feels like, this lie that is time.

A circus Shane? I always thought of you as a side show freak, you know in one of those little trailers. The type of freak that works for the county fair. Come and watch us kill her slowly…or suddenly, we haven’t made up our minds yet.