In the washroom, I noticed your tattoo at the back of your neck has faded, you can hardly make out what it was anymore.  It saddens me to know that you had it removed but I understood.  It’s kind of a ‘kiss of death’.  We should never get matching tattoos again, I promise. 

Love

Shane

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Paige’s House – a few days later

I have been distanced with Paige since I met Carmen again. 

Tonight after dinner, Paige asks me to stay the night as Shay is keen to play video games with Jared.  I cannot say no to Shay, I admit that I have been spoiling him lately.  Just a smile from him makes my heart melt.  I love this little guy so much.

“Do you want to watch a DVD while the boys are playing video games?”  Paige asks.

“Sure, anything is fine by me.”  I shrug.

“OK, let’s watch a romantic comedy.  I rented ‘My Super Ex-girlfriend’, it’s supposed to be funny.”  She put it in the DVD player and we snuggle on the couch.

“Luckily, none of my ex has super powers, otherwise I will be in a lot of trouble.” I say honestly, after putting the kids to bed.

“I sure it’s not that bad.  I bet all your ex still loves you.”  She grins.

“I don’t know, not a big fan of keeping in touch.” I say. 

She kisses me and starts to unbutton my shirt.  She caresses my body and lowers her mouth to lick my nipples.

“Carmen…”  I moan her name!  Fuck!

Paige stops abruptly and looks at me blankly.  “What did you call me?” She asks angrily.

Fuck again! “Come in?”  I try to look innocent.

“No, you said ‘Carmen’.” She replies.

“Fuck, I am so sorry…” I say painfully.  There is no turning back.  I pull my hair with my hands.  “I messed it up again.”  I am putting my shirt on.

“Well, this is humiliating!”  She says, putting her clothes back on too.  There is a long silence. 

“You love her?”  She asks sadly.  I just nod.

“Things would be different if I hadn’t seen her again.  I really like you a lot and I think I could love you.”  I try to explain.

“Shane…”  She kisses my head.  “Guess I just became you ex.  Lucky for you, I also don’t have super powers.  I still like to be your friend very much.”  She smiles sadly.

“Really? Thank you.” I say gratefully.  I never thought we would end it this way.   

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Day 22, 10 June

Dearest Carmen

I broke off with Paige tonight. Something happened, I accidentally called her your name while we… you know.  I didn’t know why I said it, maybe you are on my mind more than I realized.

Love

Shane

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Day 27, 15 June

Dearest Carmen

I can’t believe all the things that I am willing to do for Shay, to buy a house to make his life better.  This is what everyone called responsibility, and it’s actually not that bad.

We can’t share a room forever. I have finally saved up enough deposit to buy a house!   The estate agents took me to see a few houses today.  It’s exciting yet scary.  I have never made such a big financial decision in my life before.  This is my first step to being a grown up.

It’s tough deciding whether you like the house or not in a few minutes time!  I decided to let my feelings guide me.  I asked myself if I can imagine us living there.  None of the houses I saw today met that criterion.  So the search continues, but I am not giving up!

I just wanted to share this with you. 

Goodnight.

Love

Shane

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To be continued….

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