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    The Dying of the Light Part 14

    Story written on December 22, 2008 by Deean.
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    34 votes, average: 4.09 out of 534 votes, average: 4.09 out of 534 votes, average: 4.09 out of 534 votes, average: 4.09 out of 534 votes, average: 4.09 out of 5 (34 votes, average: 4.09 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 24
    Words: 2447
    Story Shortlink: https://mail.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=72084
    Author Notes:

    “Please Tina, that unnecessary. Thank you for letting me share your life. I ask you to remember that there was a time I knew what love really was, and I loved both you and Angie…”

    She would finally slip away into the blackness which has been following her for almost as long as she can remember.  Would that make her a failure?

    “Bette?”  Tina must have been talking she realised, but she hadn’t heard a word.  Probably berating her for the hour, for not caring that our – no not our, her daughter was sleeping.  I can’t do anything right.

    “What do you mean you can’t do anything right?  Bette, talk to me.”  Tina was getting worried.  She knew that Better didn’t mean to talk aloud, but that was the only way she was privy to the inner workings of one Bette Porter.  What was going on with her?  Where was Kit and Helena.

    “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I know you don’t want me to adopt Angelica, that you are doing it because you are…” A sob caught in her throat, it was one thing to think it, to know that Angelica was never meant to be hers, but it was another for Bette to voice it; to give it the power.  “I’m not good for Angelica, a failure has nothing to offer…”

    Tina interrupted her, “You are her Momma B.  You will always be.”

    “No!!!  Don’t lie to me.”  Bette was tired of the deception.  All she wanted was the truth so she could say her piece, to clean up her messes the best she can before she lets herself be engulfed.  Before she ran into the night.  “You always a lying.”

    Tina was too shocked to respond, why would Bette think she was lying?  She was scared for her, to scared for her to lie about something as important as Bette’s family.  “I’m not lying Bette.”

    “You are!”  Bette was beginning to hyperventilate.  Why wouldn’t Tina just listen to her, she didn’t need to rationalisations or the lies.  Tina didn’t need to speak, she just needed to let her talk before the cold numbness came back.  She could feel it pressing down on her chest, taunting her.

    “Calm down Bette.  Breathe.”  Tina coached, remembering vividly the years of panic attacks she suffered from.  Bette always was there for her, whether to coach her through the attacks, or to hold her afterwards.  Work was never too important and she was never to busy to come home to her.  To go to her work.  When did that all stop?  It was like she became pregnant and the Bette she knew and loved shrunk a little, she went away into her world of work.

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    Comments

    1. Hope Kit listens to Tina and goes in and checks on Bette, I can’t believe that they will let her die right in the house with them. Hopefully Bette will listen to Tina and believe what she is saying to her. Hopefully someone gets to her soon and gets her to the hospital. PPS

    2. This story is so sad, but because it is wonderful written I love it. I can see this side of Bette through all the seasons. She is much more vulnerable than she let everybody know.

    3. Okay, breathing, being calm…okay..now what in the HELL is Kit thinking? I don’t see as she is doing any good at all, even though she is staying in the house with Bette. They already know she is self-destructive, yet they have not taken all the sharp objects out of her room…and they are not watching her! You need to see if they are doing ok and not just leave them behind a closed door for hours on end. Why has no one spoken to Bette about thereapy or hospitalization? What the hell are they all doing? So Bette could just drift away while they all sit on their asses, doing nothing. At least Tina did call Kit, but Kit is useless..what if she doesn’t check on Bette? I want you to know I feel this story very deeply, not only because it’s so well written, not only because it’s about Bette..and I know it’s no happily ever after fairy tale.

    5. helena needs to get into that room right away! i think bett ei ahve some neuro problems that are causing her to not think rationally! i’m glad that tina has picked up on this… where her friends haven’t. that just shows how in tuned tina still is with bette.:)PPS

    8. where the hell is kit… tina is telling her some thing is wrong and no one is listening… god i hope some one get there in time…MERRY CHRISTMAS.. PPS

    10. Hello My Beautiful Dee… **Hugs** things are getting better thank you so much for asking :D… holy wow… you my amazingly beautiful friend completely take me away with your words… the feelings are so raw so very powerful… the feeling of draining the life out of you is something I have felt all to real… the feeling and the desire to let it pool out and just is a very real memory that you have evoked with your incredible words… OMG… please let the wind sweep through Bette’s soul and shower her with the memories of happiness… smiles… the innocence of youth that is her daughter… let her shed this horrible weight and come out with her beautiful soul intact… you have completely captivated me with your beautiful soul my Dee… I hope and wish for you the best and safest Holiday season… take care of yourself and well we shall talk soon… Wow… I’m shaking… I’m awakened… I’m free more and more because of your words… love and hugs, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angel and ever loving Cuzzie to the amazingly talented Eunichick)

    11. Tina needs to hang up with Kit and call 911. She also needs to realize that she really still loves Bette and realize that Bette has bigger problems then her right now. She needs to stand by Bette’s side throughout this mess and reassure her that she is loved and a worthy person. She is not the monster she has made up in her head. Please save her soon. Angie needs both her mommies. PPS…another before Christmas would be a wonderful gift. :)

    12. Wow. Your author’s note contains one hellova powerful point: “…but I think they are still buying something Bette doesn’t have the strength to sell.” Peace to you this holiday season.

    15. Oh, my Gosh! We have read the signals and symptoms that were leading Bette to suicide. Now it is a fact. At least she made some “good bye phone calls”. There are other people who will lock themselves and refuse to contact anyone. It seems Bette wants to be found, regardless of her dreadful intentions. Hopefully, the necessary help will arrive on time. We can see that Tina is not only concerned of what is going on, but also feels full of remorse. Deean, you are doing an extraordinary job here, making us feel all the pain and emotional state in which Bette is.- We wish you a Merry Christmas and the very best for you on the holidays. PPS Hugs and kisses on both your cheeks.- Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick)

    16. Wow, that was a difficult chapter to read, it’s hard to see someone in so much pain that they only see one way out. Tina must surely help Bette, apart from Bette herself she is the only one who can help her. Great story, PPS. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

    17. I don’t think Angie should see Bette like this, and I hardly think seeing Tina will make Bette feel better.She needs people around her that care about her and will take care of of her and help her. I wonder where she could find those?

    18. Tina you have called Kit,now call 911 Then get you self and Angie to Bettes house. She doe need help now not in the morning when the life has seeped out of her. I hope right now that Bette is thinking of her beautilful daughter Her Boo and what affect this will have on her life That Angie will need her in the future, to protect her when other talks about her being different. thanks

    19. Tina you have called Kit,now call 911 Then get you self and Angie to Bettes house. She doe need help now not in the morning when the life has seeped out of her. I hope right now that Bette is thinking of her beautilful daughter Her Boo and what affect this will have on her life That Angie will need her in the future, to protect her when other talks about her being different. thanks

    22. Wow…your writing certainly makes me feel all the emotions and despair that Bette is feeling. Please let Tina heal her broken heart and get help for her head as well. PPS.

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