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The Dying of the Light Part 13
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It all started with excited particles, bouncing together and causing as explosion so altering that the entire universe was created…
A child, born of a mother and given to many. A celestial body that is caught in a gravitational pull between 2 larger bodies. They pull and pull.
Dragging the child from one to another, breaking the child and fracturing themselves… until one body gives up, no longer wanting to risk the child… and fractured beyond the universes repair.
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“Kit, I don’t know what to do.” Tina was asking for Kit’s advice, her input into a situation that she is rapidly beginning to think she caused.
Kit reached over to grip her hand. She too was at a loss on how to help Bette. “Helena invited me an the girls over to dinner tonight. I’ll talk to Helena, make it a more intimate dinner,” Kit squeezed Tina’s hand. “Just me and Helena. I’ll talk to her then, maybe she’s just in pain? She hurt her hand quite badly, tendon and nerve damage. They still don’t know if she’ll get full use of the hand back.”
Tina shook her head “She said nothing hurt anymore.” She knew that this is more serious then Kit thought, and there was nothing she could do about it. Bette didn’t trust her, and Tina wasn’t 100% sure she could trust herself to do the right thing for Bette anymore.
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Bette wondered when she walked into the void, away from her friends and family – from love, life and laughter. It scared her in a way that she had never been scared before; it tasted like a drug – equal amounts of exhilaration and fear. A high, to be followed by a low.
Sometimes she wanted nothing more then to come down.
Most of the time she wanted to be riding the great waves, chasing death on stormy waters. Her blood would be pumping, heart beating fast and steady. Her fingers would restlessly rub against each other in nervousness, excitement, tingling right down to their tips.
Ears ringing and legs steady she’d try and manuvour herself to the pipe. The crushing water surrounding her, tempting her. Death would be so close, so very close she could taste it; ashes and salt – a sweetness that few would ever feel.
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OMG… just finished reading all 12 ,13 chapters…bette needs help and needs it fast… what is tina the only one to see this… she had to tell the others… tina needs to get her connection back with bette and get over there to help her… and now she again needs to go to the hospital and get re-stitched… thats if they let her go back home after they re-stitch her… she needs therapy and now… what a story… glad i started to read… PPS
I’ve just caught up with your story and am captivated by your writing. Such raw emotion that it is difficult to read at times. I find myself hesitating before clicking the next page… anxious to read what happens, yet unsure that I really want to know. I wonder what Bette’s bottom will be and what will ultimately bring her out of her despair. Thanks for a great read!
I gather from the author’s comments that it’s thought that Bette to some extent deserves what she got, since she “acted badly.” I agree that Bette is in a depression now but there was no justification for Tina taking her child away, and still punishing her for the affair, years later. Who would feel great about that? What if the situation were reversed, how good a shape would Tina be in? I think you write well but I can’t go on reading a story that thinks taking one’s child from them, and ongoing and eternally punishing them is deserved for making a mistake in the marriage. I can’t imagine how people think that Tina would be the one to help her when yes, she did do this.
I forgot to add that this story is the physical embodiment of everything Melvin taught Bette…that she had to be perfect or she would be nothing, unlovable. He loved her as long as she reflected well on him, and as soon as she didn’t, he didn’t. yet she never stopped wanting his love and approval,and I think, always feeling like she was nothing anyway, as her mother left her. I have always thought Bette was on the edge of breaking, since the show began.. it was why Bette always had to be the very best at whatever she did, and why she set the bar so high for herself. It was why she stumbled and fell when everything went wrong in S1. She made a mistake, humans do that. Tina knew this, knew how vulnerable she was and how much loss she had suffered, and d to take Angie away was saying to her in neon letters, “you are not worthy, you are not lovable, you don’t deserve this child..” in other words, put in words everything Bette feared most, and hurt her in a way no one else could have..and she knew exactly what she was doing. A line from an earlier chapter, ” I didn’t think you would miss her so much..” she would say that about Bette losing her child? This is why tina has indeed orchestrated this decent into the abyss..and Bette does need professional help and therapy, possibly hospitalization, to see that she is a good, loving, worthy person who deserves to be loved and cared for, and that she deserves to live, and that she deserves to have Angie. Tina needs to stay the hell away from her.
Depression is such a terrible sickness. Bette needs help bad,In my heart I believe that angie is the key. Tina needs to take her every day to see Bette also be in the house or yard and leave Angie thre with Bette but be close. then come by late afternoon to let Bette see her again. Maybe spend the night at the house and let Angie wake Bette up with kisses. Just my opinionhanks so much for posting. Happy Holiday to you and yours.
aeliegh was right. I’m trying to stay with this story but it is so difficult to watch Bette suffer so much.Tina needs to explain the paperwork to Bette and bring the baby for visits with Bette. But since Bette is so unstable, I don’t believe she should lrave the baby with Bette without other supervision. I don’t believe Tina should stay with them though, it should be someone else and they must stay very close by. But first Kit needs to check in on her and then she needs to be hospitalized. They need to remove all sharp objects from her access.GET HER TO THE HOSPITAL NOW. Great chapter yet very scary. PPS
OMG…Bette needs someone to bring her out of this…and I hope it is soon. Tina and Angelica need to come stay at the house with her. Maybe then she will see her life is worth living. pps
Oh My Beautiful Dee… once again you have stolen me away with the beauty of your words… the sheer pain and torture of watching Bette fall deeper and deeper into herself… this revelation of what happened to her when she was in school is so much food for thought… the intensity and the tragedy that she has suffered so much not only for loving differently but also for the ‘way’ she looks is just heartbreaking… and you paint this with so many vivid colors, your literary soul is a tapestry of brilliant colors, poetry of the soul… I really do hope that Bette can find what she is missing… and piece herself together… this will make things harder for her to fulfill her position towards Angelica… but maybe if she spends sometime in the hospital working out these demons… this unadulterated ugliness that has consumed her soul she might be able to forgive herself… forgive Tina and move forward with her life… if that is with Tina and Angelica as a family or if its moving away to seek out a new life… she needs time to heal… you my amazing friend… you captivate me… you steal my soul with your tender beauty and I am forever richer for sharing in this with you, much love and hugs, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels and Ever loving Cuzzie to the Ever talented Eunichick)
wow,this is just fan fiction, I have to remember that,very hard though it is such a dark story, you are a very talented writer,you write a well written story
I hope this is rock bottom for Bette, and she can now move forward . Depression is a terrible demon. Hard to read but beautifully written chapter Deann. please don’t keep us waiting too long!
I hope Bette gets medical help. soon.amazing story
oh no!!! she needs serious help. this is awful to see but somehow worse to read about. pps.
So powerfully dark. I love it…
i think the only thing that cabn help her is if Tina and Angelica will come and stay at the house with her
Bette needs a rekindle of the light. She has to want to live for herself but having Angelica as a reason should help. I hope she gets what she needs soon. So dark and sad. Thanks for the update.
Bette is in such a dark place, which only leads to self destruction. She needs professional help NOW. The more she’s left alone with her thoughts, the more apprehensive she becomes. She needs to recover her self esteem, as we had pointed out in other chapters. What we can see is that her friends and family should not be that passive and start to act right away. She is beginning to think that if she dies, the pain will go and she will have nothing to worry about. She needs therapy PRONTO. The lack of appetite and all the depressive thoughts are imminent symptoms leading to suicide. Like you said, so correctly, Deean: she needs a light torch to lead her to recover her sanity. Thanks for this update. The feedback was needed, as to have a better comprehension of how painful Bette’s path has been. We believe it is time to bring that torch. PPS Hugs and kisses on both your cheeks. – Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick)