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The Dying of the Light Part 14
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Blood is transient, like life. We only have it for a short period of time, and eventually it is bleed out.
Love is bled from us.
Death is encompassing and welcoming. It doesn’t turn you down, or turn you away. It doesn’t assume your a failure and ask for your credentials.
Where you work and how much money you earn cannot save you. Cannot protect you.
Friends and Family can fight against it, but it cannot be stopped.
Not from where it is welcomed, where it is embraced.
**********
Pain.
It’s amazing how exciting pain can be. How much it says in a simple word, how it can describe both love and loss, death and life. The Ying and Yang that characterises who we are; the dichotomy of existence.
It’s a welcome feeling, filling the empty numbness that permeated her body. The cold that shut her mind down was now flushed with heat. She could see through the blurred lines of reality. The pain grounded her, and made her – at least for a moment – feel alive.
Bette’s looks at her hand; sluggishly oozing blood. The macabre sight intrigued her artistic mind, she imagined it as a paint. Bold and muted, bold stokes of darkness which surrounds the finer details of the sutures, the blood – the beauty of the mutilation.
“Bette.” Kit knocked, startling Bette who dropped the scissors to the bed.
“I love you baby girl.” Kit said, her palm resting on the door. She loved her sister so much and she knows that she upset her tonight, but she was worried and wasn’t metering what she was saying. Something was off with her sister, and she wasn’t sure what it is; wasn’t sure if there was anything she could do about it.
Kit waited at least 5 minutes for a response, but none came. She sighed, her shoulders dropping in defeat, maybe Bette really was asleep. “Goodnight,” she whispered before walking away.
Bette waited for the footsteps to move far into the distance. She didn’t want to talk to Kit, there was no way to make her understand without scaring her. She was fading away; wanted to fade away.
There is something about the darkness which is like a sirens song, calling to her, begging for her to cross over and she doesn’t want to make them wait. There is nothing much left in the light to keep her here, nothing to ground her for too long. The pain of severing the stitches was now at a distance and she could feel the numbness creep back up to her.
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Hope Kit listens to Tina and goes in and checks on Bette, I can’t believe that they will let her die right in the house with them. Hopefully Bette will listen to Tina and believe what she is saying to her. Hopefully someone gets to her soon and gets her to the hospital. PPS
This story is so sad, but because it is wonderful written I love it. I can see this side of Bette through all the seasons. She is much more vulnerable than she let everybody know.
Okay, breathing, being calm…okay..now what in the HELL is Kit thinking? I don’t see as she is doing any good at all, even though she is staying in the house with Bette. They already know she is self-destructive, yet they have not taken all the sharp objects out of her room…and they are not watching her! You need to see if they are doing ok and not just leave them behind a closed door for hours on end. Why has no one spoken to Bette about thereapy or hospitalization? What the hell are they all doing? So Bette could just drift away while they all sit on their asses, doing nothing. At least Tina did call Kit, but Kit is useless..what if she doesn’t check on Bette? I want you to know I feel this story very deeply, not only because it’s so well written, not only because it’s about Bette..and I know it’s no happily ever after fairy tale.
Please let Kit get to Bette before the scissors do any damage to her!!! PPS
helena needs to get into that room right away! i think bett ei ahve some neuro problems that are causing her to not think rationally! i’m glad that tina has picked up on this… where her friends haven’t. that just shows how in tuned tina still is with bette.:)PPS
Tina “tuned” into this because Bette CALLED her and was clearly in trouble..
amazing story, deep, emotional, excelente i love it, go on, just great
where the hell is kit… tina is telling her some thing is wrong and no one is listening… god i hope some one get there in time…MERRY CHRISTMAS.. PPS
awful, just an awful place to be in. pps. I need to know tat someone has the brains to break down that door.
Hello My Beautiful Dee… **Hugs** things are getting better thank you so much for asking :D… holy wow… you my amazingly beautiful friend completely take me away with your words… the feelings are so raw so very powerful… the feeling of draining the life out of you is something I have felt all to real… the feeling and the desire to let it pool out and just is a very real memory that you have evoked with your incredible words… OMG… please let the wind sweep through Bette’s soul and shower her with the memories of happiness… smiles… the innocence of youth that is her daughter… let her shed this horrible weight and come out with her beautiful soul intact… you have completely captivated me with your beautiful soul my Dee… I hope and wish for you the best and safest Holiday season… take care of yourself and well we shall talk soon… Wow… I’m shaking… I’m awakened… I’m free more and more because of your words… love and hugs, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angel and ever loving Cuzzie to the amazingly talented Eunichick)
Tina needs to hang up with Kit and call 911. She also needs to realize that she really still loves Bette and realize that Bette has bigger problems then her right now. She needs to stand by Bette’s side throughout this mess and reassure her that she is loved and a worthy person. She is not the monster she has made up in her head. Please save her soon. Angie needs both her mommies. PPS…another before Christmas would be a wonderful gift. :)
Wow. Your author’s note contains one hellova powerful point: “…but I think they are still buying something Bette doesn’t have the strength to sell.” Peace to you this holiday season.
I hope Kit get there quickly but why not call Helena, she’s in the same house!! Save our girl Big Sis
WOW!!! That broke my heart. I hope Kit gets to Bette ASAP!!! Thank you
Oh, my Gosh! We have read the signals and symptoms that were leading Bette to suicide. Now it is a fact. At least she made some “good bye phone calls”. There are other people who will lock themselves and refuse to contact anyone. It seems Bette wants to be found, regardless of her dreadful intentions. Hopefully, the necessary help will arrive on time. We can see that Tina is not only concerned of what is going on, but also feels full of remorse. Deean, you are doing an extraordinary job here, making us feel all the pain and emotional state in which Bette is.- We wish you a Merry Christmas and the very best for you on the holidays. PPS Hugs and kisses on both your cheeks.- Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick)
Wow, that was a difficult chapter to read, it’s hard to see someone in so much pain that they only see one way out. Tina must surely help Bette, apart from Bette herself she is the only one who can help her. Great story, PPS. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
I don’t think Angie should see Bette like this, and I hardly think seeing Tina will make Bette feel better.She needs people around her that care about her and will take care of of her and help her. I wonder where she could find those?
Tina you have called Kit,now call 911 Then get you self and Angie to Bettes house. She doe need help now not in the morning when the life has seeped out of her. I hope right now that Bette is thinking of her beautilful daughter Her Boo and what affect this will have on her life That Angie will need her in the future, to protect her when other talks about her being different. thanks
Tina you have called Kit,now call 911 Then get you self and Angie to Bettes house. She doe need help now not in the morning when the life has seeped out of her. I hope right now that Bette is thinking of her beautilful daughter Her Boo and what affect this will have on her life That Angie will need her in the future, to protect her when other talks about her being different. thanks
No goodbyes, no note, just gone. I did inherit her depression and can understand the feeling of hopelessnes
Hits a bit to close to home for me. My mother committed suicide when I was 9. Please let her be ok
Wow…your writing certainly makes me feel all the emotions and despair that Bette is feeling. Please let Tina heal her broken heart and get help for her head as well. PPS.
I hope Kit gets to her quickly…and Tina can make her see the light….that they can be a happy family and live happily ever after. pps
it’s funny how we’re all attracted to despair..Great post!