"Bette.."

"T, I know, this doesn’t mean were back together."

And before I knew it, these words fell from my mouth, "We can’t let what happened today change anything. We’ve been doing so great."

Who the ***** just said that?

"You bet, T, great."

I gave her a kiss on the cheek, she turned, opened the door and was gone. I fell back against the door, looked up at the ceiling, down at the floor, turned to look into the kitchen, then out across the living room. I was doing a scan of the apartment, searching for the damn alien that had just inhabited my body, worked my vocal chords, formed the sounds of words and uttered that sentence "we cant let what happened today change anything."

Am I freakin insane? It did change everything. Did I not hear all I said to Bette today? Is this ALAD Adult ***** Attention Disorder? I’ve got to talk to her – at least get a message to her. I still have her cell number on speed dial. It goes right to her voicemail – of course, she’s at the therapist’s office right now.

This is Bette Porter. Im not available. Please leave your message.

"Bette, baby, it’s Tina. Please ignore that woman behind the curtain at the door of my apartment. Pay no attention to what she said. Listen to what I’m saying now. Today did change everything. I want your presence in my life and our baby’s life.. I want us to work towards a mending of our relationship. I want us to make things right again, no matter how difficult the task. I want us to learn from our past mistakes and grow together. I want -I want – damn it – I want you."

The tears are now clouding my eyes. I end the call and say a silent prayer she checks her voicemail when leaving Foxworthy’s office. I look at the clock. 5:45. Helena is due here in 45 minutes. H-Day minus 45. This evening I tell her it’s over. I can’t do whatever it is we’re doing anymore. It hasn’t been fun for sometime now. I’ve tried to end it before, but each time her manipulation of my feelings with her feigned sorrow at losing me caused me to give in.

Not today, Helena, not today. Im heading home to my heart and ***** nor high water is going to stop me.

TBC…