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    American Werewolves in London: Part 6

     

    “Jenny, you’re a shit.” Tina pulled away from Helena as she collapsed into Bette’s waiting arms. “You totally interfered the other night…”

     

    “You were making her a HYBRID!” Jenny shouted. “As if we don’t have enough problems as it IS!” Jenny’s remaining arm fell off as she shouted, and Tina took that opportunity to use it against her. “OW!”

     

    “Oh shut up, you can’t feel this.” Tina laughed sadistically, poking Jenny with her fallen limb.

     

    “I can imagine that it WOULD hurt and besides, it’s ANNOYING…” Jenny’s good eye glared venomously.

     

    “SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!” Bette’s voice interrupted their macabre fight.  Helena lay limply in her arms, her hands slung around Bette’s neck. She peaked out at the strange spectacle before her, and then feigned sleep again, nuzzling against Bette’s heartbeat. The action seemed to calm them both, and before long, Tina and Jenny calmed as well. 

     

    “Sorry…” Tina was the first to apologize.

     

    “My bad…” Jenny said with a yawn. Tina busied herself trying to reattach the arm, and had some success, at least using pieces of clothing and ligaments to do the job. “Thanks.” Jenny said gratefully. She murmured something to Tina, who shook her head in response, a regretful look on her face.

     

    “What?” Bette asked, laying Helena on the bed. She looked down at her, rubbing her hands for a few moments. “what did you say?” She asked again turning to Jenny and Tina.

     

    “I asked if she’d severed the blood line of the wolf who killed me.” Jenny said miserably.  “I hate this…I’m dead, but I can’t rest. It isn’t very much fun. If I could cry, I would, but when I try, nothing comes out—my face just crumbles more.”

     

    “I’m sorry Jenny. I’m trying my best.” Tina patted her sympathetically. She turned to Bette and Helena again, before pulling a large comfy chair out for Jenny to sit in. “The vampire community has suspected it for years, but I’ve proven it…” She began out of sequence, and so stopped and tried again. “The bloodline lies in high fucking places…”

     

    “Like the Vatican?” Jenny asked politely. Tina burst into laughter, shaking her head, but not in an unfriendly way. “Well,” Jenny added. “I figured the Vatican had something to do with it. They’re at the bottom of it afterall.”

     

    “What’s ‘it’?” Helena asked. “Oh nevermind. The Vatican…werewolves…what on earth is going on here.”

     

    “The Vatican is much more concerned with killing vampires, these days—especially among their own ranks.  There are no werewolves among them, as far as I know.” Tina said with a shrug. “The werewolf community has spread to government—and they  live among some of the Royal family as well.”

     

    “Not that they matter, really.” Helena said with a snicker. “Ok, so the Prime Minister is a werewolf?”

     

    “No.” Tina replied. “but some of his cabinet are. More importantly, there are diplomats…the defense department workers…they’re everywhere.  And they don’t like Bette here—whoever bit her, and killed Jenny, wasn’t supposed to be in Wales that day. If Bette reveals that person’s identity somehow, more than a few heads will roll…courtesy of the Queen herself.”

     

    “Ummm, we weren’t in Wales.” Jenny said, raising her hand limply like she was in grade school. “We were in Northern England.”

     

    “You were in Wales, Jenny.” Tina said with a sigh. “You and Bette were so hopelessly lost, you didn’t even know what part of Britain you were in.”

     

    She and Helena started laughing while Bette and Jenny scowled at them both. Helena stopped suddenly. Her brow furrowed. “The Queen?” She whispered. Tina nodded slowly, her lips curling into a smile. “Well!” Helena exclaimed.

     

    “So?” Bette asked with a sigh. “What do we do now?”

     

    “We have a few weeks to prepare…” Tina paced the room, double checking the time as she moved about impatiently.

     

    “And then what?” Jenny asked.

     

    “That’ll be the next full moon…and then…” Tina looked carefully at Bette and Helena. “We’re fucked.”

     

     

     

    TBC

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    Comments

    1. I wonder which particular Vatican conspiracy Jenny was referring to. Like ashtuck, I can’t help laughing at crumbling Jenny and the other three main players in your loopy, brilliant saga. The X-Files-like conspiracy, with werewolves infiltrating the royal family and British cabinet, is a wonderful touch.

    2. Loved the pas de deux between Jenny and Tina. Not surprised to hear there are vampires in the Vatican, seems them been sucking the lifeblood out of people for millenia. And the werewolves in the royal family is no surprise either. I seem to recall that the Bowes-Lyons family, of which the recently deceased Queen Mother was a member, were supposed to have locked up an excessively hairy relative in the attic, can’t recall if that was supposed to be the 18th or 19th century. Good thing ol’ Lillibet (no, not Lillibette) has so many ladies in waiting. I’m sure many hands make light work of full body depilitation.

    3. Oh MY GOD !!! what did you do to the Royal Family ? LMAOOOOOO We already knew (?!) they hosted Jack the Ripper, but werewolves ?…… as for the Cabinet, I always suspected Maggie Thatcher of being a blood-sucker, but who else ?? you’re just having me laughing so hard I can hardly type…

    4. Ah well, those Brits, you know how they are, keeping their relatives locked up in attics and all. I had heard a theory that Jack the Ripper was a minor member of the royal family, so guess they could have a Jack the Nipper too!

    5. Should you laugh at a dead jenny, a vampire tina, a werewolf bette, and a clueless helena? Well, I am…I can’t believe Tina beat Jenny with her own arm…thats really really funny…pps

    6. LOL it was freaking amazing… I loved the fact that Tina had to be invited in… I never thought that a werewolf, a vampire and a dead Jenny could be so funny!!! PPS!!

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