"Hey" was all I could muster. We both then looked up and at each other. We were suddenly in that awkward silence where nothing ever felt right. I didn’t know what to say. In my mind, there was a million things I wanted to say to her, but none seen to come to my lips. I didn’t have to wait long though, because she broke the silence easily.

"Kyla told me she told you everything."

"Yeah she did. Why the hell would you give it up?" I blurted.

"I don’t think you want to hear it." she said

"I think I do." I stated. I had to hear her say it. I had to know that she hadn’t done it for me. That would have been stupid and I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt.

"I did it for me, Spencer." she said and I visibly relaxed as I released the breathe I’d be unconsciously holding. she continued. "I’ve already explained this to Kyla, but I had to do it for me. I had to dry out and get cleaned up, for me. It’s something I have to do. I need to find a way to stay once I get there. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think I was doing for all the wrong reasons. Doing it only for you. I . . . " she hesitated so I stepped in.

"Ash if this is about forgiveness . . . "

"No! Of course not! I couldn’t ask you to forgive me after everything I did to you. Maybe we could work up to that but not now. That isn’t what this is. I swear. I just don’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want to hurt the people I love anymore, especially you Spencer. All I ask is that maybe, we can be friends. It was hell living without you and I want you in my life anyway you’ll let me have you. Maybe someday you’ll find it in your heart to forgive. I can’t ask for any more than that.

"Ashley, we have to face facts. You broke my heart. We were both hurt by the outcome of that and it’s been two years. As much as we don’t want to admit it, we’ve changed. We aren’t who we were anymore. And as for Kyla saying you’ve given it all up . . . " she cut me off.

"Believe me, I have Spencer." she said and I snorted. The action alone must have shocked her but she couldn’t believe that I would take her word for it just like that after all the lies I put up with when we were together. "I know that look Spencer, and I’ll make you believe me. You’ll see." she said.

"Yeah, but Ash, it’s not going to be easy. I don’t know how much I can take right now. we’ll have to take it one step at a time. See how things go. We’ll talk, work something out. Work up to being friends again. Im not sure if things will ever be like they were though.

"I know." she said

"I’m going to go, you know how to reach me." I said turning around away from her.

"I don’t know your number."

"Kyla knows my home number. The cell’s the same. Call me in a few days." I said and I smiled. "I guess somethings don’t change." and I turned around and walked away.