Alice felt someone tapped her fingers lightly as she dozed off at the side of Dana’s bed. She moved her head up and gave a smile to the person before her. The person smiled lightly at her. Alice had been waking up like this for three weeks, with Dana tapping her fingers and then both smiled at each other. She felt alive again. Although she didn’t believe in god before, but now she thanked to who ever up there that made her wishes came true, that Dana was there with her again.  

But these three weeks was not easy though. Dana was very weak and was suffering from morning sickness and nausea from the chemo treatment. She would vomit after most of her meals and hurled angry words towards Alice. Although she didn’t mean it, but the pain inside her was too much to bear that she couldn’t held herself from doing it. Every time she saw hurt in Alice’s eyes she would curse herself and wished that she would just die, so that she would not have to hurt Alice anymore. She was basically sunk into self wallowing. She was not the strong Dana anymore, her body was weak and thin, her complexion was pale and her head was bald. She didn’t know why Alice still stood beside her, she had nothing to offer to the gorgeous journalist anymore. Sometimes she wished Alice would just go away and find someone who could take care of her and made her smile that Alice’s smile again. But deep down in her heart the thought of Alice leaving made her scared. She was scared that if she drove Alice to leave that door now she would never returned again. She was scared that she would not have the strength to fight anymore if the journalist ever left her. She needed Alice in her life more than anything in the world. The five months without Alice was hard enough for her to fight the cancer alone. Until now she didn’t know whether she had done the right decision breaking up with her, but after all she was just protecting Alice from being hurt. And she was glad she had the second chance to see Alice again. But she hated the fact that she couldn’t really control herself when times come. She had reminded herself over and over again not to put the anger at Alice but then she was doing it again and again. She sighed and hoped that she would be able to control herself at least a little bit today.