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Where You Go There You Are
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Bette begins in the coolest voice she can find. “Angelica tell me what you mean something bad?”
Angelica is ready for this question now that this topic is out on the table calmness has taken hold of her. “Just that, something bad. I have asked my Mom over and over to talk to me about who I am.” Angelica begins but when Bette doesn’t respond back she continues. “Maybe I should back up and explain.” Taking a deep breath, “My mom is beautiful Bette, really beautiful but she’s nothing like me. She is white, blonde and with hazel eyes.” Angelica states abruptly wanting to get all the shock out of the way quickly. She is watching Bette, looking for that look that she often gets from people when they realize that Angie’s Mother is white. Often it’s just a quick look when people put one and one together and come up with two. They are nice and all but still they have a moment where they are different. But that look doesn’t cross Bette’s face. She’s not shocked or surprised at Angelica’s revelation.
Bette could tell that Angelica thought this revelation would be a bombshell. Bette took it to mean this was her time to get her point in. She had Angelica talking now it was time to get her to say what all this was really about.
“So what are you telling me Angelica?” Bette begins in a challenging way. “Are you saying that you have lived a horrendous life? You’ve been abused because of this “bad thing” that happened a long time ago? Does your Mother hate you because of this “bad thing”? I’m trying to understand this better so what are you trying to tell me?”
Angelica was immediately taken aback. She tried pulling away and back from the table but Bette held on. “No … no that’s not it.” She says haltingly.
“Then what Angelica what is it? Do you have such a terrible life at home that you have run away from it? Has your Mother beat you because you are different?” Bette asks taking things to the extreme.
Angie tugs hard and rips her hand away from Bette’s. “No that’s not it.” Angelica defends her Mom. “My Mom loves me. I know it. She has always loved me.” Upset with Bette for even suggesting anything else.
Bette leans back herself now that she has stirred the pot she wants to let things settle a bit. Letting Angelica huff a bit before she starts again, this time in a softer mode. “So your Mother loves you and has provided for you your entire life. She has spent time with you and given all that she has in making you feel valued. Is that it? Is that the kind of life you have known up till now?”
Angie is now on the defensive with Bette and is glaring at her despite Bette’s softer tone. “Yes my Mom has always been there for me. I get mad at her because she needs to work all the time but I know it’s so I can have things. I know that.” Angie says wanting to convince Bette and remove any doubts that could linger.
“Its just people talk, I’ve seen their looks. When my back’s turned, their whispers.” Angelica says getting quieter the longer she talks. “I can’t stand the whispers.” She says almost whispering herself.
Bette can see they have finally arrived. Softly now she asks, “What are you afraid of Angelica? What do they say that gets to you?”
It was at this point when the tears begin falling down Angelica’s face. “They make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
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unfortunately the world is cruel and even though we have come along way skin color is still a very big issue. Hopefully Bette can help her sort it out.
Jennifer Beals said @ L5 that while growing up, she often felt “less than” or “other” not being black or white. Maybe that’s why she campaigned for Obama. She sees herself in him. Can you imagine this beautiful, talented, intelligent young girl felt so inadequate? What a tragedy. PPVS.
My kids are biracial. My 5 year-old daughter has beautiful big brown eyes, and pretty brown curls, people are always commenting on how pretty and exotic her looks are, but she always says she wants straight,blond hair and blue eyes. It makes me so sad when she says it, and I have no idea where it comes from, I guess the media and school. I hope Bette can share her experience of being “other” with Angie, and hopefully it will help. I love this story, PPS.
How many PURE whites do we know.? My Dad can off a reservation in Okla. My Mother was German Blond,blue eye and milky skin. Dad was dark skin,black eyes and black hair. We all turned out different I love who I am. Bette has been there and if anyone can help Angie is Bette. If Angie knew the love that was ther with her Mom and Bette.She would know it wasnt bad,It was the person that was the one that was inadequate. So let hope Bette can get Tina to talk with Angie in Bette present thanks
i’m so glad bette can be there for angelica because she herself went through this
im always amazed but then not what goes on in kids minds. i married a mexican/german. i 2 have light kids 2 darker kids. my daughter (3 sons) was the only one that had ‘things’ said about her. but we live in a place where everyone whos important, ‘normal’ are white. very interesting development. thx
WOW!!! I am glad Bette got Angie to open up. Now maybe both Bette and Tina can help Angie. Thanks
Bette and Tina need to talk and help Angie out !
I bet if we all knew exactly who all our ancestors were we’d all be in for a surprise here and there, especially, but not exclusively those of us in the “New World”. Like bettyv, there is some Native American in my family, though no one every seemed to think we were anything but white (not unusual not only among Hispanics but among descendants of older Anglo and French immigrants), so I never had those moments Angelica and Bette faced. When the scientists announced a few years ago that DNA confirmed we were all one big dysfunctional family, I went “Thanks, tell me something I don’t know” I’d hoped by the time this story is set it wouldn’t be anything for anyone to make a big deal over other than to know where one came from.
Wow, that was intense. I never thought what a child may think; how they arrive at truths. We know how Tina beget Angelica, but I guess she did not know and to logic that a bad thing happened, and that bad thing must be rape…just intense! She’s too smart! I love how she defend her mother’s love for her; and my heart tears for her feeling unworthy. Great story; please post soon. Can’t wait for the ‘reunion’. Thanks for sharing.
Kids can be cruel but mostly they get this kind of thinginkg from there parents it doesnt matter what the difrence is.I have a ahnducap son and well the comments are mostly the same isnt it sad that we live in such a modern world but some people are still have the”Old Thoughts” in there Head…Its the Color of your Skin,your Sexual Orientation or…or..or its Time to grow…Or Not
Such powerful words, perfectly written. My blonde-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned sister has felt hurt and infuriated over the years by ignorant strangers that assume her oldest daughter is adopted because she has brown eyes, dark hair and beautiful olive skin. My sister’s husband is of Italian/ Greek decent. My heart goes out to Bette having to explain this on her own.
another powerful chapter! kids can really be cruel sometimes. i have faith that both tina and bette will be able to make angelica see that she was a product of a great love and not of something bad.
Now we’re getting to the crux of the matter where Bette can be of extreme importance in the way Angelica feels about herself. But first we must get Tina to them. Now I won’t go any further Jwet. lol Great chapter. PPS
Both Bette and Tina have done a disservice to Angelica. Tina for not being up front with her and Bette for setting this disaster in motion.