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    The Fugue of White Noise – Tina Kennard L Word

    Far up on a desolate and unforgettable peak was the spot hidden barely from the wind off the bay that Arafane had told Bette to show me when the subject of our castle adventure came up. There were old Druid stones up there, and there had been a breathtaking view of the crescent shaped coves that scalloped the sea. Soon, I realized after she had poured my hot tea from a thermos we had filled at the café near the castle, there was another present for me. I touch my earlobe. She gave me these, too.

    I’m not sure how many other people see this side of her. It’s hidden when she’s directing the world around her but even then with a bounce or two on the side of her head I could always get her attention. It does take effort though and romantic, spontaneous gestures and the little gift she had put in my hand meant she had stopped her world and thought only about me. I had brushed her hair back from her face and kissed her as the wind blew in from the bay. Eight hundred years after my ancestors had defended the immense castle we had just wandered through I was here with her, someone even the modern day Welsh had never seen anything like before.

    “What is it she exudes that stops every man and nearly half the women to give her a second longer look?” I had wondered as her body against mine had felt warm and protected me from the chill.

    “Did you feel anything back at the castle, Tina?”

    She had asked as she pressed me back against the car, her approach timed as I was finishing my tea. We had kissed and our lips had rolled, our kiss long and finding each other on the bare hillside. I had lifted her hand inside my sweater. The seaside peak, the lovely earrings, her coming on my curious journey all had made me want her closer to me that afternoon.

    A moment always arrived between us when kissing to explore a kiss or kissing turning toward lovemaking approached. As my London shopping spree sweater disappeared over my head and I was soon lying on a blanket in the back of the Range Rover something else changed between us, too.

    Comments

    1. This is getting so sad. The dissolution of a marriage, Dana’s death. Just life. No one is immune from the vagaries of life. Would they have split even if Bette hadn’t strayed? Too much effort to keep it going? But Tina, seriously, Henry? I guess she wanted to be totally in control.

    2. Ouch! The ending broke my heart.
      See? This is how the show should have been. I mean, as much as I hated it, I would probably love it more if they added some scenes (like yours). The plots were good… but there weren’t so many ‘key moments’ to explain the choices the characters made. Especially Tina’s… that was something that almost led me to throw my tv out of the window. No explanations, nothing. They wasted lots of good opportunities.

      Thanks for this chapter! I love your ‘love scenes’, as you already know. They’re amazing and full of emotions.

    3. This was the third season for the part of what I hated :-)
      as Tina told her, Dana’s death: was cruel and insensitive!
      I always thought that Tina has not forgiven, fraud, and I think probably not forgiven in herself, having fallen in love with Bette.
      Tina blamed her because she lost her family, lost her acceptance of society, and exposed herself to the prejudices. .and that postpartum depression can be helped this (I think that’s the reason for Henry and not forgiveness toward Bette)
      but it was a really beautiful moment, the flashback!
      Wow! What emerged from the file that was sent to the senator?
      I can’t wait to the next chapter.

    4. Yes, Ms. BB, I did love the Wales flashback. It’s as if Tina is taking stock of their past history. Sort of mentally weighing the pros and cons of breaking up vs. staying together or trying to resurrect their marriage. Sometimes, one gets weary. Bette is an exciting person to be with, a force of nature. She leaves one breathless but such high maintenance. Yikes! A manic relationship. I didn’t think Bette was too controlling but sometimes thoughtless. For all her bravado, she didn’t stick up for Tina when Melvin had dinner w/them. Still a little girl when it came time to deal w/dear, old Daddy dearest. Maybe you can repair Humpty Dumpty????

    5. I have to agree w/BetteOPorter. Lost plot lines, gaps in the storyline, explanations missing. Use your imagination, girls. Scenes between Tina and Bette were too short and often “an enigma wrapped in a riddle”. Many WTF moments. It’s too bad b/c the show could have gone on for 2+ years. But IC wanted to do a spinoff w/Alice’s character in prison. So DUMB!!!! A blind squirrel could see that would never make it. And nothing of consequence has taken its place. Thank goodness for fanfic and fanfic writers and this wonderful site (thank you, Jacky). So, thank you everybody.

    6. You are an excellent marksman when it comes to matters of the heart. You’ve done another incredible chapter into the depth of this intense relationship between our two alpha women. Seems life is a roller coaster of intensities and stillness. Tina’s life has had many intensities but yet she has found those moments of stillness to breathe and center herself. She had found a moment to just be in pause to see her life in a different way.
      Bette’s life is one intensity followed by another until the stillness starts to gain momentum and increases in length and loudness. It’s only taken the loss of her son, an affair and her breakup with her soul mate for her to figure out that there needs to be more moments of stillness, to breathe, to observe and to understand another way to be. Surely her narcissism, anger and arrogance have been shifted enough to see that those reactions to life don’t fit her anymore. It’s created too much loss for her heart and eventually her soul…
      And now another loss….. Dana. So unexpected for those not paying attention. Dana added so much quiet brilliance as she made her way into this family of friends. She mattered in ways that they are only beginning to understand. She will be missed deeply by so many…
      Thank you Blackbird for amazing me again, (Selfishly) Now where’s the next chapter, lol?!

    7. Thanks Blackbird for giving us a happy memory when Bette and Tina were in love in S3. I really hope Tina won’t get angry with Bette by opening her letter by mistake. Anything is possible with crazy S3 Tina. Please let her talk to Bette about the attempted rape and let Bette comfort her.

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