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    The Newly Discovered SoCal Humminger Bette Porterius ~ Chapter 16

    Story written on October 2, 2009 by Spumoni.
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): ,
    Number of Comments: 23
    Words: 1356
    Story Shortlink: https://mail.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=74343
    Author Notes:

    The artists’ dinner (Tina consults)

    “Dammit, Bron.  When I actually need your advice, you aren’t around,” Tine spoke to her friend’s answering machine from one of the two bathrooms at the Bette Porter Gallery.  She had run from Eric and Alice the moment Bette, after their personalized tour, had excused herself to speak to the caterer.

     

    “I think she’s flirting with me. I mean Bette Porter.  You know.  Her. Maybe I’m imagining it.   I don’t know.  I’m not sure. I don’t know.  We didn’t talk about what to do when your girlcrush is a lesbian”

     

    Tina disconnected the call. Frustrated, she leaned back against a wall as she closed her eyes and let a rush of air escape through her lips.  After 20 seconds, though, she remembered where she was.  Embarrassed at imagining what anyone waiting outside the door would think, she hurriedly flushed the toilet she hadn’t used and turned on the faucet and washed her hands.  As she opened the door to the bathroom, she smiled a small smile at the woman waiting, who began to move towards the open door.  As Tina began to exit, however, she felt her phone vibrate.

     

    Tina looked at woman, “Um.  Ah.  Sorry.  I, uh,  need to, um, ah, use the, uh,”  Tina made a small head nod towards the interior of the bathroom as she hurriedly jumped back in and closed the door in the shocked woman’s  face.

     

    Tina didn’t bother to look at the caller ID.  “Bron?”

     

    “Who else?”

     

    “You got my message.”

     

    “Yeah, but you didn’t make any sense. What do you mean she’s flirting?”

     

    Tina sighed in frustration at Bronwyn’s question.  “Flirt.  Like flirting.”

     

    “OK.  Maybe it’s just what she does.  With everyone.  I mean, you said she was charming.”

     

    “I don’t think she was doing it with anyone else.”

     

    “You can’t be sure of that.”

     

    Tina thought for a moment about what her friend had just said.  “I watched her as she walked around the room.”

     

    “You watched her! Oh, right.  That makes sense with your crush and all.”

     

    “Bron.”

     

    “OK.  So you watched her.  Did you see her talk to other women?”

     

    “Yes.”

     

    “And you don’t think she flirted with any of them?”

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    Comments

    3. Too short, but oh so sweet! A third person to filter this through is really fun. It’s like we’ve pulled up a spectator’s seat at a high-stakes poker game, except it seems that the house and the best player will both win. I hope that’s Bette, coming to see what’s up with her powder room. Thanks!

    4. Jikes has a great point: Bronwyn is a great character. How come TLW Tina had no viable friends from her life pre-Bette. It’s ludicrous that a woman of Tina’s professional standing had no context outside of her relationship with Bette and then, with the tapes at the end, what the ???? It all supports my theory that Tina was intended just for Season 1 and the unexpected eclat from Bette and Tina forced Ilene to continue on with the relationship. It endured through all the sh*t that was heaped on it and Tina. It was season 5 before Tina was allowed to be anything other than a dipsh*t. But…I digress. It’s over and dead now. Thank goodness for the radical revisions of talented writers like you. I can read on, enjoying my B&T without end. Thanks!

    5. Hmmm…Bron seems to have an inkling that this ‘girlcrush’ is rather more than a crush, having wondered (briefly) if Tina actually wanted to stop the flirtation. Well, maybe a semi-public bathroom isn’t the optimal place to seriously begin questioning one’s orientation. Especially when there’s a line outside. But the time of reckoning is nigh. So was Tina making her call on a Startac?

    6. Ah, that girlcrush can only “hidden” for so long. And if Tina’s going to do what might do when anyone was flirting with her… well, she might just act on the obvious signals. Sage advice, indeed. Great stuff, Spumoni, thank you for making my morning slog a whole heck of a lot less of a slog. cheers! :)

    7. I have a confession to make: I kinda have a girlcrush on Bronwyn. Stupid IC not using Bronwyn, ever! :P You are awesome to the power of infinity. And I just checked the previous post, and apparently my comment never posted :( It said that you’re my favorite Italian pirate, obviously, and that you’re one of my favorite authors and that… I don’t know. It was too long ago for my feeble mind. But it included, frankly, unashamed girlcrush-y admiration. :D

    9. I can understand Tina and wouldn’t know what to do either. Sometimes it is just so relaxing to only stand at the sideline and wonder why they don’t see what everyone with a brain around them can see.

    14. I am savoring every moment of this very long night…perhaps instead of the Artists’ Dinner, it can become the Artists’ Weekend. I’ve just read these last two chapters and have to say I have a girlcrush of my own. Your outstanding writing and unique humor makes me tingle with glee every time I see your posts! From your earworm to your backstory to your plushie fetish, all are just brilliant. I love your snarky Bronwyn, but hope that Tina ignores her sage advise and continues the adorable flirting. Thanks for sharing your talent, Spumoni!

    16. I’m on vacation today-leaving everyone waiting because I saw your story…and HAD TO READ IT. (People…I do have my priorities…and one of them is Spumoni!!!) This chapter was fantastically fun! Oh…the joy’s of advise from a friend on girlcrush…hah! Go with the flow Tina…’cause it’s going to sweep you off your feet! This is one of my fav chapters of this story…it was sweet!!

    23. Oh yeah, Bron was right…they were sooo flirting with each other. O.K. now let’s see where they both go from here. Tina…get out of the bathroom!

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