Fan Fiction
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The Mythical Season 3.5 – “Episode 23: Sleep Now In The Fire”
Irwin: Is that what this is all about to you? Politics?
Faye: Everything is politics, Mr. Fairbanks. You of all people should know that. You did everything in your power to shove your dead daughter back into the closet at her own funeral, just so YOU could save face!
Irwin: …That was uncalled for, Faye…
Faye: Really? How is that uncalled for yet it’s okay to try to keep me from defending the virtues of this Nation? You cannot turn over now, because if you do then you might as well consider yourself a coward. Because I’m going to fight, Irwin.
Irwin: I can’t believe you’re doing this.
Faye: Well, believe it Irwin. I have tolerated Sharon as long as I possibly could, but this is the last straw. She should have been faithful to you! You should have apologized!
Irwin: I did…
Faye: And she still didn’t see that family was more important due to your mistake! Her inability to forgive is just as damning, Irwin!
Irwin: And if it were you?
Faye: Me?
Irwin: Had you been my wife….
Faye: Honey….if I were your wife, you wouldn’t need to have sex with some slut half your age and act like a Kennedy.
Irwin: So this is beyond my personal life, but I’m beginning to sense that there’s something personal with you over this. Why is that?
Faye: She’s attacking us, Irwin. That’s all I need.
Irwin: And when you embarrass yourself, don’t expect me to bail you out like I did last time.
Faye: Oh, please…
Irwin: Like when you attacked a homosexual woman on Live TV, saying that her partner’s miscarriage was an act of God??? Do you remember how much damage control we all had to do just for that comment???
Faye: And now it’s my turn to run damage control for you and Irwin…I would suggest that you not interfere. Good night.
Faye hangs up her phone. Irwin looks at his phone and disconnects. He then launches the phone across the room in a fit of anger. There’s nothing he feels he can do now except watch the verbal bloodshed take apart everyone in the process.
While things are serious with the Fairbanks’ broken family, life is a little more upbeat at The Planet as Kit has a friend of hers filling in as caretaker while she, Marina and Helena are all away on the bus trip. The crowd applauds as he takes the stage.
Slim: ‘Sup! I’m Slim Daddy as you well know and mah homegirl, Kit Porter…she be doin’ her thang, but don’t fret yall ’cause we got this taken care of. Tonight, I got some talented musicians that are gonna jam for yall tonight. So give it up for this great trio! H Robot on the bass! Nette Eden on the guitar! And Jonny Lay on the drums! Give it up yall!
The crowd applauds as the musicians begin to play.
Slim Daddy’s got everything under control at The Planet. Meanwhile, the bus has pulled in to Santa Fe to stop for the evening. Everyone’s settled into their hotel rooms to rest up, but with an exception. Uta can’t sleep, so she looks after a sleeping Gabby while reading through some notes. Meanwhile, everyone else is exhausted from the first day of being on a bus on the road. Tomorrow however, things may be different. But for now, everyone rests.
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Damn you Faye Buckley!