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    The Burden of Control – Chapter 16

    There were too many maybes.

    Bette’s thoughts began to
    drift back to the argument she had with Kit night before.

    ****************************************************************

    Kit: You have
    to tell her, Baby Girl.

    Bette: I can’t do it, Kit. (pauses) I won’t.

    Kit: I thought that the two of you were getting along?

    Bette: We were. We are. But the situation hasn’t changed and I’m not
    about to unload all this on her.

    Kit: That’s not very fair.

    Bette: (angry) Neither is getting their relationship
    rubbed in my nose everyday at work, but I deal with it.

    Kit: (concerned) Bette, is it really that bad?

    Bette: (frustrated) NoI don’t know. (pauses) Look I
    told you why I couldn’t tell her. I just wish you’d try to understand.

    Kit: I do see where you’re coming from. Losing her brother like thatbut Bette, hiding
    it from her is only going to make it worse in the long run. When she eventually finds out

    Bette: (interrupts) She won’t.

    Kit: Bette, be reasonable. It’s going to come
    out. The two of you are still connected,
    if not through
    Helena, then
    through the baby she’s carrying.

    Bette: (sadly)It’s not my baby.

    Kit: (gently) Has she told you that?

    Bette: Kit, she hasn’t even told me that she’s
    pregnant. I think that if she was planning on including me in the baby’s life
    she would have told me.

    Kit: Maybe she’s afraid?

    Bette: Afraid of what? That I would have said no? I asked herI
    pleaded with her to try again to have a baby.
    After thingsafter Candace, I was devastated. I hated myself and I hated that I was weak and that I
    allowed myself to betray my marriage. My
    fucking world was falling apart at the seams and somehow throwing a baby into
    the mix felt like a reasonable solution. (pauses) I just didn’t think that
    she’d find that solution without me.

    Kit: (quietly) I think you’re afraid.

    Bette: Excuse me?

    Kit: You’re afraid to tell Tina about having
    cancer. But not because you think she’ll
    get upset. Noyou’re afraid that she
    won’t be upset by it.

    Comments

    1. This is my favorite story on the boards. So touching and heartbreaking and yet full of hope. Please let Bette tell Tina soon. The sooner the better. Bette has to let Tina help her….she’s going to need her. They’ll need each other.

    2. Telling Tina then would have been inappropriate since she was needed back at the center; she wouldn’t have had any time to process the news with Bette. Plus, why ruin a happy moment with depressing news. Bette wasn’t just thinking of herself here, she wanted to be there for Tina’s joyous declaration. There’ll be other opportunities to tell her, say, Friday after the appointment. I do agree that the news should come from Bette’s mouth and not from anyone else’s, like Helena’s (you know the girls wouldn’t say anything).

    3. ok bette has to tell tina if for4 no other reason then because of the baby—i had expected last nights show to be a heart breaker but guess what i didn’t feel bad — i found a gap in the show i hadn;’t seen before–tina’s always been selfish she expected bette to take care of everything and do things her way–i can’t think of a plot where tina bought or did for bette just out of pure love in any season and most fan fic goes this way too the ones that don’t worked it out–bette should leave she’s the one who sought help proffessionally why didn’t tina think couple therapy wouldn’t now she sure pushed before everything was on the line???????? questions i hadn’t thought of until last night bette knows she loves tina and feels it–its a risk but leave her and the baby see how shes fairs bet she’ll start seeing things different and try to win bette back because she ‘ll know if she really loves her bette did all the chasing and seems to take all the s— too this season lets see who would like our girl (helena??) pure poetry?? great story your writing can’t wait for next chapters

    4. Great story. I have a feeling that Bette did not want to put a damper on Tina’s news about the baby. I can remember when my mom told us about her breast cancer. It happened in ’78 when they removed the entire breast. For the longest time she did not want anybody to know that she survived the cancer. Only recently with the help of Relay For Life has she come to terms with what has happened to her. Now when she gets a chance she wears the yellow shirt signifing that she is a survior. She has mentioned that even with all the love from her family that she felt totally alone. I hope that soom Bette will be able to allow Tina to be there for her.

    5. You really know how to keeps at the edge of anticipation..lol.. I love it though. Bette should tell Tina escpecially now that she wants her to be apart of the Baby’s life. Looking forward to the next chpater!

    6. oh, this was beautiful and sad…tina happy because she’s closer to bette now, but she still doesn’t know about bette…maybe after the ultrasound she will tell her

    7. Perhaps I’ve been in some sort of a coma induced by S3, but I really don’t know how I’ve missed your story. I should have been sleeping a looooooooong time ago but here I am at 4:35 am and I’ve just finished reading through this entire story…thank God I don’t have to work today. I suck for missing it all this time! Anyway, your writing is amazing and I’ll definitely continue to follow your story. I can relate to the medical stuff as my dad has cancer. I trust any decision you make re: the direction of the story. I look forward to the next chapter.

    8. What a beautiful chapter! I love your story and look forward to your posts a heck of a lot more than I look forward to Sunday nights. Thanks so much for sharing your talent.

    9. Keep going, I know Bette didn’t tell Tina yet because of Tina’s pregnancy and wanted this to be a happy occasion, but I think Bette is a bit of a coward. And I’m just at the edge of my seat waiting for more.

    10. The more Bette waits to tell Tina worst will get..she is gonna start to get really sick and it will be even more shocking for Tina…if she tells now at least Tina will have some time to get prepared for when Bettes get worse. Post soon!.

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