Some kind of wonderful

Chapter 49

“So do you think she will like it ?”
Emma asked Matthew as they stood looking as the engineer installed the giant plasma TV plus satellite TV box in Tina’s apartment
“it’s a bit late if I say she doesn’t “ he said
“I was just packing and I realised that I didn’t get her a house warming gift and I know that is really bad of me”
“You have had other things on your mind “ he said. This was the first time he had seen Emma since the breakdown of her relationship and he had to admit that she looked so much better than he had expected.
“Will she like it ?”
“it’s a giant TV – of course she will love it – it’s a great gift”
“When is she due back ?”
“I don’t know – she was going to the library to see Rosie to do some reading about running a café “
“So its all systems go on that then ?”
“Yes – she loves the idea and she has some great ideas  – she was worried about your opinion “
“I love the idea “ Emma said “ I think she will thrive being her own boss – she is mature and sensible – it will be a success “
“Even if you have to come and buy 100 cups of coffee a day ?” Matthew teased
Emma chuckled “ Well I cannot be the only parent who hasn’t thought that “
“I get free coffee because its my café “ Matt said “That said – do you want a coffee ?”
“I would love one – and I want to see your restaurant “
“The painters are in but you can see where we are at – and I will show you my kitchen”
Emma spoke to the engineer – handed him a folded bill and followed Matthew downstairs
“You like  the apartment ?”  he asked “ I guess you didn’t really see it the last time you were here “
“I think its lovely – better than anything we ever had when we were starting out “
“You once said to me that your aim in life was to make sure Tina had a better start in life than you did – judges daughter aside of course “
“My father was a judge but he didn’t believe in giving me extra money when I was broke. I hated that “
“It made you who you are now “
“Some would say that is not a good thing “ Emma retorted going into the kitchen “Now this is big – nice stuff “
“Kid and Christmas doesn’t come into it when it comes to me  and kitchen supplier catalogues “
“I can guess “ Emma wandered around while Matt got two mugs and made two cups of instant coffee. He added brown sugar to Emma’s and handed it to her  – she strolled around for a few minutes before coming back to where he was perched on a stool at what would be the counter looking into the main part of the restaurant. Two men where on high ladders painting the wall a cheerful yellow.
“What do you think ?” he asked
“Nice – I hope it’s a success – when do you open ?”
“After New Year – I know its not the ideal time to open but I finish on Christmas Eve  and we are going away for a few days then when we get back its all systems go for the grand opening “
“Do I get an invite ?”
“Yes  – if you want one “
“I would like one “
“I will make sure you get one. “
Emma pulled up a stool and sat watching the painters – she was silent for several minutes
“So how are you really doing ?” “Matt asked
She sighed and looked at him “I am fed up with myself and everything – it makes you question everything about yourself – why was I not good enough ? Could I have done anything different ? What if – what if – what fucking if “
“And could you have ?”
Emma rubbed the back of her neck “I don’t think I could have – that doesn’t stop my mind going round and round of course”
“I think a cruise is a really good idea “
“I am going to forget who I am supposed to be and just have some fun”
“And is Tina right – is it a lesbian only cruise ?”
“Will you tell her if I tell you ?”
“No “
“In that case – yes it’s a dyke cruise — women only”
“You planning to find a toy girl ?” he grinned at her
“No – I am planning to sleep a lot, get a tan, eat expensive food and chill. If the opportunity comes along “ she shrugged “I won’t say no – I don’t see why my vows should mean anything as they don’t mean anything to Kate “
“Did Tina tell you about her lunch with Kate yesterday ?”
“No”
“Kate was late – very late and it didn’t take long before Tina lost her temper defending you and called Kate’s girlfriend a tart and then she stormed off “
“God “ she looked at Matt “ You think you know someone – 30 years I have loved her and I would never have thought she could be the jackass she is being “
“She is plundering new depths of tactlessness with Tina “
“Who would have thought Tina would defend me so much “
“She knows  the difference between right and wrong – and she sees that the way that Kate has handled things as just plain wrong “
“She is a good kid “ Emma said “But I don’t want her taking sides “
“She is trying not to  – but Kate is not making things easier. I know that Bette and I have discussed if maybe one of us or both of us should go see Kate”
“I don’t imagine Kate would take well to a lecture from either of you  “ Emma picked up her coffee and sipped it “ How are they doing ?”
“Bette and Tina you mean ?”
Emma nodded
“Happy together. Bette is changing – she was always impressive but she is maturing and coming out of their shell. She is certainly more assured – Tina worships her – and it’s a two way thing – those two are going to be together for  a very long time. I take it you haven’t seen her then ?” he was referring to Bette
Emma shook her head “The last time I saw Bette Porter she had just said good bye to Tina and she was very upset – her last words to me were – and  I quote “I am never going to fucking well forgive you for this “
It didn’t sound like Bette to Matt but then she had been very upset at the time. Matthew looked at Emma
“You have heard more chilling threats than that “
Emma laughed “All the time”
“So you don’t hold that against her ?”
Emma stirred her coffee “My argument about them which may I remind you – no one disagreed with – was that they were too wrapped up in one another. It wasn’t normal or natural for them to spend so much time together. All of you said it wasn’t the worst thing in the world if they went to separate colleges “
“True “ Matthew admitted “But “
“Yes “ Emma said waving her hand “I went about it like a bull in a china shop. I brought typical Emma Kennard tactlessness to bear and broke my daughter’s heart. I am officially a crap mother”
Matthew sighed “ You are not a crap mother – yes you may have handled it not as well as you could but – well looking at it with hindsight – you were right. They were together more than was good for them at their age and if they had gone to college together it could have been a disaster. Instead they have hooked up again and are very well suited. You know that Bette brings out the best in Tina right ?”
“I haven’t seen them together but I can see how happy she is. “
“She just adores Bette and it’s the same for Bette. They are good together and they have made this call themselves – this is them doing this their way- its working well so far”
“I have to make some sort of peace with her “
“Bette you mean ? yes you do. She is a huge part of Tina’s life “
“Do you think she is too young to be settling down ?”
“No “ he replied “ When they both came back to New York after college it was obvious  – to us anyway what was going to happen. One of them could have stayed away from Central Station – they didn’t. Tina told me that there was no force on earth that could have kept her away -she wanted to see Bette and the rest is history as they say. Its only been three months but they are doing well”
“I don’t want this business with Kate and me to hurt her “
“That was always going to happen – she is devoted to both of you – regardless of how she’s been with you since she went to college. I am sure that things will sort themselves out. At least she is standing up for you”
“I don’t want her to “
“Emma – there are times when you just need someone in your corner – you have had a horrible shock”
“I have known about it long enough “
“Yes – Tina told me that – why ? Why didn’t you say something ?”
Emma put her coffee down
“This goes no further right ?”
Matt nodded
“I mean this – Tina doesn’t find this out under any circumstances “
He nodded again “You think I am going to tell her anything that will hurt her ?”
“No –  anyway – the truth is “ she rubbed her eyes – he could see in horror that she was starting to cry. He took her hand
“The truth is – Kate has done this before – more than once “
“Fuck – really ?”
“The first time was when Tina was 5 – she was struggling to cope with staying home all day and she started an affair with someone who lived in the same street “
“Is that why you moved to the apartment ?”
Emma nodded “I wanted to show her that I could take care of her and Tina”
“How long did that affair last ?”
“A few weeks –  the other woman’s husband found out and blew a fuse – Kate backed off”
“And the second time – you said more than once ?”
“When Tina was 11 Kate came back to work full time – she missed working and there was no reason why she needed to stay home once Tina had started High School” Emma sighed and rubbed her eyes “ There was a intern who was assigned to work with her – that went on a few months”
“And you ignored both ?”
Emma found a tissue and dried her eyes “The first time – the first time I blamed myself because I was working 16 hour days and she was at home with Tina who was in her most difficult stages – you must remember all the tantrums ?”
“I do “
“Anyway – the first time Kate swore it wouldn’t happen again and she had been bored and missing adult company. It was a rocky road but we came through it. The second time – I was scared. I couldn’t face her going – and I knew that any court in the land would give her full custody of Tina. So I ignored it – watched from the sidelines – got the intern a job opportunity in Seattle which ended the affair”
“God Emma”
“I loved her so much – I just couldn’t stand losing her – or Tina. The ironic  thing was that when it started to be obvious this time – I thought I had already lost Tina – its amazing that it seems to be what is getting us back again”
Matt squeezed her hand “I am sorry     Emma – I hope you find someone new “
“I am not looking   – not for a while because I think this divorce is going to be messy. But  – one day – maybe”
A door opened and slammed
“That might be her “ Matt warned “ Hide over  there in that corner “
Emma jumped up and was soon out of sight – just as Tina came through the restaurant area
“You’ve missed a bit Harry” she said to one of the decorators
They swapped banter before Tina came back to join her father who was still sitting at the counter.
“You just love work “ she said
“I do – I could watch people doing it for hours – how are you ? – you seem to have a few books there “
“Rosie helped me find some great books and she gave me the business card for one of the adult education colleges. I rang the guy, who of course was only to happy to help any friend of Rosemary Porter’s – and he is going to send me a list of the courses they do in the New Year – I should be able to do all the health and safety and food hygiene courses for a few hundred dollars”
“That’s awesome – seems you have had a good day “
“Great “
“Have you heard from Kate ?”
“What ;? So she can bad mouth mom and try and twist everything I say – I will skip on that “
“You do need to make your peace with her”
“No dad – she needs to make her peace with me”
“You called her girlfriend a tart honey – that isn’t nice”
“Neither is being a bitch to Emma”
“How does Bette feel about this change of attitude to Emma ?” Matt knew that Emma would be able to hear this conversation – he just wanted her to know that the whole situation with Bette might not be as bad as she feared
“We talked about it a lot when we were up in the Catskills and she wants to do the right thing. She is fine with meeting up with mom when she gets back from her cruise “
“Well why don’t you go and put all those books upstairs and you can come back and help me with some recipes and we can talk about the café – see where we are both at”
“Okay “ Tina kissed her dad on the cheek “ Give me about 20 minutes – I want to print the college courses out and talk to you about them”
Tina picked her bag with all her books in and went out of the restaurant and upstairs to her apartment
“You can come out now Emma”
Emma emerged – she had been crying. He went across and  gave her a hug
“She really is defending you – its not an act – you have her in your corner”
“I really do – that was sweet of her “
“Lets wait for the screams then we can go upstairs and see the look on her face”
The scream took a few minutes but when it came it was audible – Matthew dragged Emma up the stairs and opened the door to the apartment – Tina was standing staring at the TV
“DAD  !!- THIS IS AMAZING “
“House warming gift “ he explained “Like it ?”
“But dad – you have given me so much – its too much”
He grabbed Emma by the arm and pushed her inside the apartment
“Its not from me – its from her – I will not expect you for a hour or so Tina . Have a safe trip Emma – don’t do anything that you might need a good lawyer for “
“Oh God “ Tina was still in a state of shock
“You like it ?” Emma asked
“Its just brilliant – you didn’t have to “
“I did – I Haven’t bought you a housewarming gift and this was something I thought you would both really love”
Tina jumped over the coffee table and hugged her mom
“Thank you “
“it’s a pleasure “
“I mean it – its amazing mom – its so huge “
“Well I figured you two are going to be not going out much what with work and study and not having much money. You may as well enjoy some TV and movies”
“Bette will love this “
“I hope you both do “ Emma said “And thank you Tina”
“What for ?”
“For being in my corner”  Emma took her daughter’s hands “ Its not easy being you at the moment”
“Its easier than being you “ Tina replied “ Did dad tell you what happened yesterday ?”
“He did – you called her girlfriend a tart ?” Emma smiled despite herself
“Yes – I am not proud of that but well – she is being an ass”
“What does Bette say about all of this ?”
“That the dust obviously needs to settle a little more. She isn’t prepared to be reasonable an that just gets my goat up. She also says she can see where I get it”
“Meaning me ?” Emma smiled
Tina smiled
“I am glad that you have some special who is there for you “
“And you don’t mind that its Bette ?”
“Darling – it was always going to be Bette for you . Now I am in the middle of packing a case for my holidays – I have to go. Take care of each other sweetie – and I love you very much and I am very proud of you “