Fan Fiction
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Just The Girl – Chapter Forty One (a HYD-inspired fic)
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She opened up a drawer and fished out a fancy cookbook from within. Wolfgang Puck, don’t fail me now.. she bit her lower lip as she turned to page 45. Prime Rib Roast, she rubbed her hands excitedly. It was a very ambitious dish to prepare for a beginner like her.. but.. a girl should aim high right? She tried to fool herself as she stared at the complicated recipe on the glossy page.
“Bette Porter, the iron chef.” She psyched herself up. Hopefully Tina and Ken also had iron stomachs, she laughed nervously.
And so, ignoring the big red warning signs flashing inside of her head, Bette Porter took out the meat from the freezer, the condiments from the cupboard and began cooking..
———————————————–
Fifteen minutes later..
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinggggg. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggg.
“Porter residence, east wing. Good evening.”
“Uh.. Sonja?”
“Miss Bette?!”
“Yeah..”
“What a pleasant surprise! How are you?”
“I’m.. uh.. fine. I just.. umm.. Sonja.. uh.. can I ask you something?”
“Yes.. sure, of course.”
“Uh.. if I don’t have paper towels can I use toilet tissue?”
“What?”
“Um.. cause it says here that I should pat the roast dry with paper towels.. but I don’t have any so..”
“Wait a minute.. you’re cooking Miss Bette?”
“Uh.. yeah. I sorta invited Tina and her dad over for dinner. I’m roasting prime ribs..”
“Prime ribs?”
“Yep.”
“That’s quite.. brave of you..”
“I know.” Sigh. “What the heck did I get myself into?”
“Did you preheat the oven already?”
“Yes.. no.. oh God, I don’t know..”
“What do you mean?”
“There are too many dials in this frickin’ oven. I don’t even know if it’s already on. I’m too scared to stick my hand in and check.”
“You don’t have to put your hand inside. Do you see a light?”
“Nope. But I think I will after I taste my own cooking..”
“If the oven’s turned on, you will see a light from inside.”
“Okay. Um.. Sonja.. one more thing..”
“Sure Miss Bette.”
“What is Kosher salt? It says here that I have to rub the meat with butter, Kosher salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder. I am looking at plain table salt and iodized salt. Which one should I use?”
“Neither. Kosher salt is just like rock salt, they’re both coarse-grained.”
“Rocks have salt?”
“…”
“Sonja?”
“My poor, poor dear. Want me to come over and help?”
“No no, it’s okay. I want to try this on my own..”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep. Uh.. Sonja?”
“Yes Miss Bette?”
“One super last thing..”
“Okay..”
“What will I use to rub the meat? Is there a rubbing tool of some kind that I could use?”
Sigh. “Miss Bette.. you have to use your bare hands..”
“…”
“Are you still there?”
Whimper. “But the meat is stinky.. and bloody.. and yucky.. and.. and..” Sniffle. “Eeekk..”
Crash.
“What was that?”
“My ego crashing down.”
“Hmm?”
Whimper. “Nothing.”
——————————————–
Thirty minutes later.
Knock. Knock.
“Just a minute!”
Knock. Knock.
Opens door.
“Hey babe, that was fast. Is dinner ready?”
Sniff. “…”
“Babe?”
Sniff. “…”
“Porter?”
Sniff. “I hope you guys like instant noodles.”
tbc..
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Crikey, I just love this story. I often find myself laughing like a loon. I totally love Bette in this story. PPS
Fantastic chapter so funny wit Shane n Alice would been funnier if they had made a fake marriage certificate lolPPS
pmsl that was funny. It willteach Alice and Shane. Bette Tina loves noodles,don’t worry. Alchemy you are a star
That was great..can’t wait for more! PPS:)
i have to say i have felt the gambit of emotions on this story……last couple chapters laughing my ass off!! PPM!! :0)
OMG that was so freaking funny about Alice and Shane. Bette is so cute and funny too. Please more, thanks!
Poor Bette. Cooking is not her strong suit, but she is crazy smart and gorgeous so I think T will keep her!! lol. Love the story.
That was a really funny chapter with the cooking problems and the line about the instant noodles and the Alice and Shane thing LOL.So glad that you posted a chapter today because this story really brightens my day up.PPS
“I hope you guys like instant noodles.” – LOL!
Just loved how B&S got A&S back . That last line was so funny. This story is so Great!!! Thanks PPS
I am so glad U are back-I was getting spoiled by your Fab writing. Nice update. Love the last line about I hope U guys like instant noodles. Classic. Love the joke on Alice & Shane-that was great. I laugh so hard every time I read one of your updates. Thanks a lot.
This story never fails to keep me laughing! I love the revenge on Shane and Alice. Bette trying to be all impressive and having to admit her failings is so darn CUTE.