Bette had been under so much stress, with work, home, the disaster television interview, her arrest and the loss of the baby. She might be able to understand Bette turning to someone for momentary comforting but she could not understand how Bette did not return to her. After seven years of building a life together why did Bette not turn and now return to her for consolation and support?

Her only conclusion was that Bette had found a new love. So why tell her about the baby? Why complicate their relationship even more? Bette had chosen not to return to her. To have her return for the sake of the child would not be the right thing to do. She did not want that type of a relationship from Bette. She wanted Bette to return for the passion they shared, for the similar goals they had, for the friendship they forged. The last thing Tina wanted from Bette was a relationship built entirely around the child the conceived in their hearts years ago.

She reported to Dr Wilson that the first trimester so far was fairly uneventful. The morning sickness which was also afternoon, evening and night sickness, responded quickly to eating. With the near constant eating she found she had added the weight fairly quickly and looked far more pregnant that the 14 weeks she actually was.

Dr Wilson asked about any unexpected events. She asked all the usual first trimester questions. How was she eating, was she getting enough rest, was she taking her vitamins, was she wearing her seatbelt? As far as unexpected events goes, Tina contemplated telling her about Bette’s forcing herself on Tina with her hands but dared not report that awful incident to anyone. She was only a few weeks pregnant at the time. Since she had not lost the baby she did not feel a need to tell the good doctor about it. Dr Wilson might have suggested pressing rape or assault charges but she did not want that. How would she even prove such a thing? There is no semen to collect, no hair samples. No, she did not want to discuss such a horrific thing that she suffered at the hand, literally, of Bette.

Their relationship had gone from the idyllic lesbian fantasy, to distant and strained, to spiraling out of control ending with Bette’s affair with Candace and her a future single mother. As she looked back on where they were in their relationship when they contemplated the pregnancy and searched for a donor, perhaps bringing a child into it was not the best thing. It seemed in retrospect, they wanted a child to save a relationship that had drifted apart rather than further solidifying one that was on stable ground. The mere fact that she chose not to tell Bette about her reattempt to get pregnant indicated how distant they had become. Perhaps at was her destiny after all to become a single mother. One could argue that even if she was in still a relationship with Bette, with all her professional distractions, her constant companion and attachment to her cell phone and her impulsive and aggressive behaviors, that she would still be a single parent in the guise of a committed couple.