Tina handed her the aluminum container that held her Pad Thai, and she handed Tina a plate.

“Thank you.” Bette said. It was all so–polite.

They both began to dish out food on to their plates; the smell filled the small balcony.

“So… have you thought at all about what we talked about?” Bette already felt a hitch in her throat. It was too soon to cry.

“Yeah… it is pretty much all I think about.”

“I know… me too.” Bette sighed. “It was a dumb question.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, pushing food around on their plates. Tina took a few small bites but she hadn’t eaten much the past week, she didn’t have much of an appetite.

Finally, Tina broke the silence.

“I just want to know why…”

Bette thought for a few seconds. “I… I don’t really know.”

Tina looked up at her and then looked back down at her plate.

“I think… I think I just needed to do something.” Bette forged on. “Things haven’t been right between us for awhile.”

“What do you mean you *needed* to do something?” Bette could tell Tina was trying not to cry.

“I just… I don’t know. Things between us are different and I didn’t know how to deal with it. After you stopped working… I was so stressed out… between…”

“We discussed me quitting my job, Bette. You wanted me to, to raise *our* child.”

“I know… I guess I just didn’t realize how hard it would be. And I did want that–I still do want that.”

Tina exhaled sadly. “You don’t want that…”

“Tina, I do.” Bette was trying to figure out a way to explain what she had been feeling. “I think I was under a lot of stress. And I started feel a little left out with the baby. You were the one that was pregnant. I was happy and I knew that we were having a baby… but it still didn’t seem as real to me. I was so worried, that now that you weren’t working, if something went wrong with my job–It was all on me.”

“But things are working out for you Bette.”

“I know… I know… but then when you… when we lost the baby. I felt powerless, helpless. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to make it better.” Bette pushed some the noodles on her plate with her fork. She took a sip of water. “I guess I just wasn’t feeling what I used to.” There, she had said it.