Tina didn’t say anything, at first. She softly opened her mouth and gathered the words.  “Yeah, I have to agree with you…this girl needs some rules.” She moved to dive in Bette’s eyes. “…and yes, we shouldn’t have let her sleep with us so many months. The frequency took our privacy, our moments. We became just mothers and forgot about ourselves as a couple, as individuals and also as parents. We even discussed our situation, but…” Tina restrained herself.  “I’m “….Tina reached to cover her daughters ears, “the one who fucked it up, with our sexual life,  I mean…Well, I think the correct sentence would be “ I didn’t fuck it up, at all…”,she tried to soften the moment. “I’m the one to blame, Bette, and I ever would blame Angie for my wrongs.”

Bette was not ready for the confession. She was mute. Tina moved to the side, facing Bette, again she continued,“ I knew it. I could feel the way you wanted me. I could sense your desire, your despair. But I couldn’t let that feeling, that painful feeling go away. I was lost, still arrested on the most random of thoughts, and I was miserable…I couldn’t let you got away without any suffering.”

“But I wasn’t” Bette interrupted,“I suffered so much. I was so disappointed with myself, with me and all my wrongs. And I had to lose you to see that I was blind, and after that came Helena, the pregnancy, Josh, Daddy whatever and Henry and Mickey, to show me that I had lost everything. It cost me my life…” Bette fought with words, “It cost me the most precious, significant, unique, rare, feelings. And at that moment I discovered I had to speak, to talk, to communicate. I shouldn’t have chosen Candace. I shouldn’t have chosen the short way. And I shouldn’t have chosen to come back to you without learning my lessons, without talking to you deeply. I should of instead looked into myself.”

Both of them stood side by side by looking at Angelica in her cradle.

Bette kept the pace, “I want you to know that I’m sorry. Sorry for everything… For Candance, for hurting you, for shutting you down…and making you go through so much pain. I brought you so much sadness. But I have to tell you…  I couldn’t bear with my incompetence anymore. We lost our child and I didn’t know how to reach you,? How to ease your pain? How to touch you? I didn’t even know if you wanted me with you. Then there were the pressures from my job. The TV program….”  Bette breathed hardly. “I became a rock, a wall, a closed window…I didn’t know how to lead with my fears, my failures, my feelings, my tears. I began to ask for something that made me human. I needed someone to show me I was made by feelings: desire, lust, wishes, sadness, happiness,  Something that came to me and engulfed me, showed me how  powerless I could be. That’s when Candance appeared. She was there. I was there. My feelings were done. I know that this probably sounds offensive, but” she smiled sadly, “I couldn’t help myself. I need to be touched so much… I needed to feel. Anything…” Bette finished fort a while, their proximity, the energy flowing around them. But like a flood, Bette’s words didn’t stop.

TBC…