Back in the day Tina would have started talking to fill up the silence. She would have filled the space with talk because she knew how difficult it was for Bette to put her feelings into words. Tina would have spoken, maybe even screamed out loud, about how she felt, what she needed, about what she thought that Bette felt. She would have done this because it was so easy for her to verbalize her emotions and because she knew by heart that for Bette it wasn’t.

But things had changed. Tina didn’t know what she or Bette felt. She wasn’t in tune with either of them any more. So instead she kept quiet and studied the woman next to her.
It wasn’t even forty minutes ago that Tina saw Bette last. Standing outside the CAC Tina thought she looked the same as always, like the image of the woman that flashed through her mind daily. But up close she could see the changes. Her skin didn’t have the glow it used to, the dark rings around her eyes were only barely covered by her makeup, she had lost at least fifteen pounds and the bloody lip had only just dried up. Tina let out a sigh of resignation over how despite Bette’s present state; she was still the most beautiful human being Tina had ever seen. Bette looked up at the sound of Tina’s sigh.

“… you still look like an angel…” Bette whispered and immediately blushed at how ridiculous that sounded. Tina blushed too.
“An angel of death maybe…” Tina replied with a wry chuckle.
They continued to stare at each other.

“How are you, T… I mean Tina…?”
Tina winced at the question asked for the second time by a Porter-woman.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know how to answer that question truthfully, Bette. But I can say that I’m fine… if that’ll get us off the question.”
“I don’t want you to say that you’re fine if it’s not the truth. I haven’t seen you for months… I just want to know… how you are?”
“Are you sure you can handle the knowledge of how I am, Bette?” Tina asked, an edge present in her voice.
“No, I’m not… but I still like for you to tell me…” Bette said in a pleading way.
Tina turned her head and stared into nowhere. “I’m trying to move in on, Bette… that’s what I’ve been trying to do since… well, you know for how long… I’m living with someone now, and he has a kid, a wonderful boy,” Tina turned her head to face Bette again, “Oh God Bette, you should see him… so bright and sweet… he’s so special to me…” Tina exhaled and looked down.