“Hey just promise me you won’t try drowning your self.” her voice drifting in with the luke warm breeze, and before I can even respond I see her walking out of the door.

Watching every step and I can suddenly breath. The bitter taste of hate still in my mouth, and I wait for her to climb in.

Staring at my fingers turning white slowly going numb from gripping the wheel so hard. Her perfume, the way she is looking at me is making it hard to be mad. I just want to leave, to scream to do something but instead I can only sit here building up the courage to look her in the eye.

“Where you go I go.” fuck everything that I feel melting away when she says this, god I have fallen so hard for her.

Looking at her, with that determined glint in her eyes the car lurching forward. And I finally get to leave to run, but this time it doesn’t seem wrong.

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Stopping the car, the engine dying she doesn’t speak. She doesn’t even move. Opening the door, letting the clean smell of the water in the sounds of the waves dulling all thought. Sitting on the hood of the car watching the wave’s crash over and over into the sand. Searching for my pack cigarettes, never taking my eyes off the ocean and I can’t find them.

“Here,” she stands just close enough to give me my cigarettes.

Taking them from her, not wanting to touch her hand the one I can’t take right now is the feel of her skin. Lighting the smoke, that first breath shaky, fuck does see it?

“thanks.” letting the smoke out just as fast as it went in, watching it dance in the air.

“you want to tell me what’s going on?” she sits next to me, waiting for an answer. All she does is ask questions…fuck I don’t know what to say. “Come on Shane you can’t just shut me out.”

Is that what I’m doing? Fucking shutting her out…shit I thought I was just thinking. This annoys me, how she always needs an answer.

“I’m tired.” it’s the easiest and only way I can explain how I’m feeling.