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Bette’s Dilemma- Sins of the Past
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I managed to scrape together $175,000 of the money by the deadline I had no idea whether it would be enough or not but it was all I had. Monique contacted the men she owed and they came to the apartment to collect"
Shame and fear of losing all that she had finally regained loomed so large for Bette as she paused she could taste it in her mouth. Tina sat stunned at Bette’s last words–$175,000 must have been all that Bette hard earned working plus!
"Tina, baby, I want you to know that I love you and Angelica more than life itself before I finish the story–that will never change even if you decide you can’t be with me after what I finish. I…"
"Bette, honey, go ahead. I know you do. I love you too. This was all along time ago it’s not now. I promise I will remember that"
"When they arrived at Monique’s place (I didn’t want any connection with them or my life) there were 3 of them. I offered them the $175,000 which they took but said that they needed the rest or… There was no arguing with them. I did the only thing I could think of T. Despite everything I loved her and I had to do what I could. If I hadn’t… they would have killed her and me as well I suspect."
Tears coursed freely now down Bette’s face as she sobbed reliving the following moments. She could still hear, feel and smell everything as if it were the present. Unable to sit quietly by any longer Tina moved to the couch where Bette sat and put her arms around her sobbing lover. My God what did Bette do that had affected her like this and can I really deal with it when she tells me?
Several moments passed until Bette’s sobbing slowed and she moved back to wipe the tears from her face. Tina’s presence beside her had made it possible for her to finish the rest.
"They agreed that they would forgo the remaining $75,000 if I would have sex with them all at the same time for the rest of the night. It’s not like I was pure as the driven snow or anything–as you can tell by the first part of the story but it was different. Some people would have considered me a whore before, I never had until that moment. After they were done, I didn’t even clean myself off. I gathered my clothing told Monique I didn’t want to ever see her again and left. As I was leaving Monique told me that she owed me and that if I ever needed a favour that I simply had to ask. I went home and stood in my shower for 2 hours T. When I finally got out of the shower, I vowed that I would never put myself in that kind of situation again. I would never be out of control again and I would never ask for the favour to be returned. Two out of three is not too bad I guess. Now you know why I am the way I am some times–even if I go too far. You know all that you need to know nowTina. I had no intention of ever having Monique come back into my life until the possibility of losing my job, reputation and possibly you and Angelica gave me no choice"
A stunned silence filled the room as Bette and Tina both sat motionless. Tina’s mind refused to believe the words her ears had heard at first. She looked up into Bette’s face which was now set like a warrior’s about to face a death blow. When their eyes met–the truth of Bette’s words finally was accepted by Tina’s mind. Revulsion and anger battled sympathy and a twisted sense of respect inside the blond. Getting up from where she sat Tina slowly walked from the couch to the patio doors. Without turning she spoke softly to Bette who sat behind her, "Bette, I need awhile to take this all in. Could you give me a while?"
Well she hasn’t went screaming from the room or called you a filthy, lying whore Porter. The least you can do is give her some space when she needs it. Bette’s inner voice consoled her.
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Wow. That’s heavy. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
WOW leesa excellent as always! what a freakin’ fantastic chapter…. incredible..:)
I strongly suggest you change the rating on this one. It is definitely past PG-13.
You have to follow up quickly w/another post to get this disgusting taste from my mouth. Very powerful.
I will I promise. Not a pleasant chapter but a necessary one, I am afraid. I will change thr rating though thanks
OMG, … and not meant in the typical Tibette way!! Leesa, you seriously had me on the edge of my seat! That chapter explains alot about Bette. You hit a homerun with this one!
Yikes, not what I expected. Difficult to read, so I can only imagine how difficult it was to write. Very griping. I’m curious about Tina’s response and hope she apprectiates Bette’s openess.
This chapter was filled with sadness and evoked the powerful feeling of a woman completely out of control. I truly hope that Tina can stand by Bette and realize that the past is what makes us the people we are today no matter how terrible it might be. Bette truly needs to forgive herself and find a way to move on in a healthy way.
Hello Leesa67, I must say that this latest chapter was so very intense, and for Bette to have to relive such an extremely volatile time in her past is such a strength of character for her. Her personality in the past would have lead her to take the easy way out, to run and hide but here she is bearing her soul to the woman she loves beyond anything. When it comes to Tina I think that she is going to really look at Bette in such a different way, not in the I can’t believe I am with this women, I can’t believe I fell in love with this women, but in the; I thought I new, I thought I realized who Bette is, but here and now I finally realize that after everything that we have been through, the pain we put onto each other, if she was willing to do something so devastating for the women she loved then, something that has scarred her for the rest of her life, what would she be willing to do for me, and more importantly what would she be willing to do for our daughter. I think this is the point in the merging of these two souls where the complete honest from one soul to the other has bonded them more permanently then they might ever have realized. I’m sorry for imposing on you, I would never try to dictate how a writer especially one as gifted as yourself would view there writing, but that is how I see this admission from Bette, the ultimate love for the ones she loves. Sincerely, JC
Such a great update. I can just imagine how hard the choice for Bette was. You’re self image is one of the most important aspects of who we are. It have to give that away for whatever reason is not easy to come back from. Thanks Leesa
Yep, I agree with Tina. She needs time to think about the bombshell Bette just laid on her. Hopefully, they can move past this together. PPS
You are so brave to go there with your story. It was certainly an uncomfortable chapter to read, but it very much explains the source of Bette’s extreme uncertainty about her relationship with Tina. Can’t wait to see Tina’s reaction.
Not only is this hard on Tina but Bette has to relive all of those horrible moments. I hope that Tina will find it in her heart to walk right back into that room and engulf Bette with the strongest hug she can give her. Then whisper in her ear that nothing changes, that she is still deeply in love with Bette.