“Okay…” she says warily as she opens the front cover to reveal a headshot of me on the first page.

            “You were the yearbook editor?” she asks after reading the caption below it.

            “That’s only the beginning, Spence,” I answer as she looks at me confused. I nod towards the book urging her to keep going. She looks through the whole thing slowly, reading almost every page too carefully.

            “Wow,” she sighs out when she’s finished. “Didn’t see that one coming.”

            “Yeah. Weird huh?”

            “To say the least!” She yells out. “Ashley you were the golden child. Yearbook editor, Vice President of your class, Captain of the soccer and softball teams, voted most likely to succeed, President of the French club and National Honor Society – and the list goes on and on! How the hell did you do all that and maintain your lifestyle as a party girl?!”

            “Spence,” I laugh at her. “That’s just it; I wasn’t a party girl. I was the designated driver every single weekend. I went to parties, but I never actually partied.”

            “Wow,” she says softly. “What changed when you got to college?”

            “I don’t know,” I answer. “I guess I didn’t want to be that girl any more. There was always so much pressure and I wanted to be someone else. Try something different. No one knew me here – I had no expectations to get an A or plan a fundraiser for whatever club that needed money.”

            “Are you happy you did all that freshman year?” she asks curiously. It wasn’t rude, like she was accusing me of being a bad person.

            “Yes,” I reply. “I know I made mistakes but it’s in our worst moments that we find out who we really are. Those bad moments, when you think you’ve finally had enough and that no one will understand your pain; when you’re lying in the fetal position crying on your bedroom floor – that’s when you figure out who you are. I know I did. So I can’t regret that. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here. I would have been trying to marry some Brad Pitt wannabe, thinking it’s what I wanted.”

            “Wow,” she whispers softly. “Ashley Davies, I think I just fell in love with you all over again.” I gave her a weaker smile than I intended to as she leaned in to kiss me. Her words did mean so much to me. But I was so nervous I was going to disappoint her on her fast-approaching birthday. I still had no idea how to surprise her or make her happy and time was running out.