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The Architecture of Falling… – (Chapter: I Had No Choice)
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I was catapulting again. Apparently I hadn’t fallen as far as I thought that first day she reappeared in my life because I had so much further to fall.
So much further.
And there was no more denying it. Maybe I could manage to keep the farce alive in her presence, but I was running out of lies to tell myself. The truth was, Spencer Carlin had worked her way inside and now she was coursing through my bloodstream, heavy and insistent.
The next morning I woke up alone-of course-and made my way to the kitchen. I was going to mend my broken heart with a glass of orange juice and a bowl of Apple Jacks before the entire house joined my morning and ruined my moment of peace. But I was too late.
"Hey," she said simply, sitting at the kitchen table alone.
"Hi," I replied, looking around for the lifejacket formerly known as my sister.
"She’s gone."
"Where is she?"
"She went to the mall to do some shopping I think."
"She just left you behind or what?"
"No, I told her I wasn’t feeling well…I’m not really up for the mall."
"Are we the only ones here?" I ask nervously.
I was coming to realize that I had no problem being with her in the most intimate of ways, but the thought of having to actually talk to her sent me into a cold panic.
"Your mom left a few minutes after Kyla, so…yeah."
"Oh. Well I’m sorry you’re under the weather."
"It’s fine. I needed a break anyway."
"From what? From Kyla?"
She shakes her head, but she doesn’t answer.
Then come words without reason or self-editing, "I think I’m going to go for a drive. You want to come?"
I would say that I was unsure of what possessed me to invite her into another aspect of my life besides my hours before dawn, but that would be untrue. I thought that maybe if I could talk to her for more than five minutes I could figure out what she was thinking. I could maybe do a bit of mental unloading myself.
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ash just broke the rules to there game, i’m glad she told spencer how much she cares for her but i think we along with ash knew spencer would just pull away and that’s what she did hope ash can break in soon
that just broke my heart a little, Ash cares so much for spencer and spencer knows it..she is all about the games..love this story so so much pms,I cant wait to see how it goes from here..maybe spencer will break? pms!!!!
Beautifully written..you capture the raw emotion they separately feel..as the reader, i can empathize with both perspectives..on some level, spencer’s concerns are legitimate..and ashley seems sincere, but i can understand spencer’s position (given her past history)..i hope that spencer can eventually learn to trust ash, but i have a feeling that things are gonna get worse before they get better..thanks for posting..i love this story..pms!
I’m glad that Ashley finally told her how she feels, and that Spencer acted the way she did. It’s only natural to feel that you can at any time lose the person(s) you love in a flash, but with that said; she can finally move on. I think that it showed a lot of maturity on Ashley’s part to tell her how she would still be there for her if she needs her and I do believe that when Spence realizes that Ashley means it, the dynamic’s in their relationship will change. Hmmm…I’m just guessing here. LOL….brilliant writitng and can’t wait for the next one. Cheers mate.
wonderfully written i’m so glad ash told spencer how she feels.pms!!
Poor Ashley, I sure hope Spencer quickly realizes what she’s throwing away.
i love this story… i love how the roles have switch and spencer is the angsty one… i have a feeling this are going to get really intersting! keep up the amazing work…
ash just broke the rules to there game, i’m glad she told spencer how much she cares for her but i think we along with ash knew spencer would just pull away and that’s what she did hope ash can break in soon
that just broke my heart a little, Ash cares so much for spencer and spencer knows it..she is all about the games..love this story so so much pms,I cant wait to see how it goes from here..maybe spencer will break? pms!!!!
Beautifully written..you capture the raw emotion they separately feel..as the reader, i can empathize with both perspectives..on some level, spencer’s concerns are legitimate..and ashley seems sincere, but i can understand spencer’s position (given her past history)..i hope that spencer can eventually learn to trust ash, but i have a feeling that things are gonna get worse before they get better..thanks for posting..i love this story..pms!
I’m glad that Ashley finally told her how she feels, and that Spencer acted the way she did. It’s only natural to feel that you can at any time lose the person(s) you love in a flash, but with that said; she can finally move on. I think that it showed a lot of maturity on Ashley’s part to tell her how she would still be there for her if she needs her and I do believe that when Spence realizes that Ashley means it, the dynamic’s in their relationship will change. Hmmm…I’m just guessing here. LOL….brilliant writitng and can’t wait for the next one. Cheers mate.
wonderfully written i’m so glad ash told spencer how she feels.pms!!
Poor Ashley, I sure hope Spencer quickly realizes what she’s throwing away.
i love this story… i love how the roles have switch and spencer is the angsty one… i have a feeling this are going to get really intersting! keep up the amazing work…
mk, i totally agree with my pal son1stfan on this one! i think spencer is in love with ashley but she is too scared to tell her. and she thinks that she will lose her like she did her parents. gah! you are an amazing writer!! i freaking LOVE this story!! PMS!!
mk, i totally agree with my pal son1stfan on this one! i think spencer is in love with ashley but she is too scared to tell her. and she thinks that she will lose her like she did her parents. gah! you are an amazing writer!! i freaking LOVE this story!! PMS!!
im kind of sad now………..
im kind of sad now………..
I hope Spencer can get past the hurt of her past to experience love in it’s rarest form with someone I believe could make her truly happy…Ashley. I agree with everything heythere commented on for this chapter. You are a fabulous writer and you most definitely have touched my heart with this amazing update. PMS
I hope Spencer can get past the hurt of her past to experience love in it’s rarest form with someone I believe could make her truly happy…Ashley. I agree with everything heythere commented on for this chapter. You are a fabulous writer and you most definitely have touched my heart with this amazing update. PMS
spencers a bitch
spencers a bitch
Ok, I can see where Spence is coming from, she’s still hurting so she tries to cut off her emotions so she can’t be hurt again. But I have to agree with Ash on this. Spencer can’t avoid falling in love. I think she is in love with Ash, she’s just too afraid to admit it to herself for the fear of ever losing her. Love this story. PMASAP!!!!!!!
Ok, I can see where Spence is coming from, she’s still hurting so she tries to cut off her emotions so she can’t be hurt again. But I have to agree with Ash on this. Spencer can’t avoid falling in love. I think she is in love with Ash, she’s just too afraid to admit it to herself for the fear of ever losing her. Love this story. PMASAP!!!!!!!
the whole “relationships aren’t worth the risk” line is so typical. no one really believes that, it’s just what they tell themselves when they haven’t found the right person or are commitment-phobic. Spencer’s nuts. Great job, keep it up!
the whole “relationships aren’t worth the risk” line is so typical. no one really believes that, it’s just what they tell themselves when they haven’t found the right person or are commitment-phobic. Spencer’s nuts. Great job, keep it up!