A pair of arms wrapped themselves lovingly around my waist, and I felt a chin rest on my shoulder. I closed my eyes, lost in my own whirlpool of unfathomable emotion.

            “So we never did get to finish what we started outside of the Starbucks yesterday,” I could feel her words rather than hear them. She spoke so softly that more audible than her words was the tickle of her breath warming my ear. “Can I expect to witness part 2 anytime soon?” I laughed uncomfortably, moving out of her caress to the other side of my closet where I pretended to be preoccupied with clothes.  I hoped that she didn’t catch my lack of answer.  “Something wrong, Spence?” She asked sweetly, and for the first time since getting up I looked at her. It was as if her caring doe eyes could extend a hand that forced its way down my throat, located my heart, and squeezed it until it bled. My somewhat baseless guilt intensified hugely, and I could feel my cheeks getting red. I shook my head dismissively and turned away so that she couldn’t see my face,

“Yeah, fine.” I uttered unconvincingly. “I, uh, forgot to do the physics homework so I wanted to get to school early so that I could finish it” I lied. Why did I just lie like that?

“Okay” she mumbled, clearly not buying it, but pressing no further. She knew I was bothered, and was giving me my space. I couldn’t understand why these small little qualities couldn’t make me love her. Everything in my mind told me that I should cling to this girl with every muscle in my body. She was amazing. My gut wasn’t quite as sure.

            We continued to get dressed and ready in silence. It took me about a half hour to even select an outfit, but I finally settled on a long and baggy white shirt, a black belt around my waist, black leggings, and black wedges. My mom attempted to shove food in our mouths as we headed out the door, but I resisted, wanting as little opportunity as possible for conversation. All I wanted right now was to be alone with my thoughts, and as much as Avery tried to back off when I was upset, just her presence there aggravated me. Wondering why it aggravated me aggravated me further.