“Spencer,” She exhaled, “I’m so happy you’re here.” My peripheral vision caught her turning her head, looking at me. Was she expecting something? I felt her eyes burning a hole into the side of my face, but I couldn’t bring myself to move a muscle. After some seconds, she turned and faced the field once more. “Do you want to say anything?” Even though she asked it quietly, I could hear the anxiety in her voice. I opened my mouth to say something, but words seemed to be on back-order. My lips opened and closed a number of times, and I ended up just breathing unevenly. I wanted to tell her how I felt. How everything inside of me begged me to just touch her, to be closer. I wanted so much to be wrapped up in her arms, to be breathing her breath. I wanted to cover up the pain that still lingered and throbbed in my chest like an open wound. I wanted to tell her that the hurt that she inflicted on me was the worst I’d ever felt, that I still wasn’t recovered. I wanted her to know that she didn’t just break my heart, but she broke me. The old Spencer left that night. I was but a shell of the girl I once was, the hollowness and emptiness inside causing my exterior walls to thin – to reflect the gaping chaos on the inside. I wanted to tell her how even Avery couldn’t fix me – the one person whose love teemed at every edge, so full to the brims that it overflowed from her. Even she couldn’t fix me. She was like an ill prescribed drug. Sure, it was a pain killer, but it wasn’t the right drug. It covered up the symptoms, but didn’t kill the sickness. Only one could truly mend me, have any shot at restoring me, and that drug was the very one that numbed the entirety of my being at this very moment. I also wanted her to know that as much as I loved her, I was terrified of her. Terrified of the power she had over me, the complete ability to just destroy and leave the desolation behind her. I wanted her to know how much I resented the fact that I loved her, how if I could, I would banish her every memory from my mind, never to be seen again.