Chapter 10 – Calm Before the Storm Part II

 The morning sun shone through the twisted wire fencing that separated us from the field, illuminating our faces in broken light; black lines crossing our faces symmetrically. The dew droplets that clung to each blade of grass twinkled like grounded stars in this mild mist. All was quiet except for the distant tweeting of a few birds, chanting their songs into the perfect silence of the winter morning. It would have been quite a picture. I would have appreciated it more, were I not immensely distracted by the girl just inches beside me.

We sat side by side in the dug-out for what seemed like an eternity without so much as a word escaping our lips. Sitting here with her was different from sitting across the table from her in the cafeteria. When at the table I could look across into her eyes, study her always-expressive face. I could get an inkling of what she was to say before she said it. I could read the sadness that gripped her, and I could see her sincerity. On this wooden bench, I couldn’t take my eyes from my own feet, and then hers, which hung less than a foot away. I became increasingly aware of the space between us: the mere inches separating our bodies. This was the closest I had been to her since she left. My deepest desires longed to pull us closer, to make contact and embrace the jolt that I’d felt on my wrist earlier. The other part of me debated subtly scooting a few inches away from her – perhaps this was too close. It was as if there were electric sparks radiating from her body, the ends just brushing my skin. The static tickle that lingered on my side wouldn’t go away, despite my desperate attempts to avert my mind. The feeling scared me, and even the gentle breeze couldn’t buffer the effect of her aroma, enveloping me like a deadly gas. She invigorated all of my senses: senses I couldn’t even put a name to. I shifted uncomfortably, crossing my legs to try and stifle another excited sense (if you catch my drift).

The chirping of the birds was drowned out of my mind in this silence that surrounded us, reminding me painfully of our solitude and desires, rather than of the aesthetically beautiful beginning of this day that we shared. In the cafeteria we weren’t alone. Dozens of witnesses sat nearby, ready to react should I do anything hugely dramatic or rash. They kept me in line. Here, there was no one. No one to stop my hand from tangling in her brown locks, no one to keep my lips from dancing with hers, and no one to maintain this inches distance between us. The blurred mental image of Avery stared down at me with accusing eyes. The thought of her combined with that pathetic force I call self-control were the only defenses I had. Maybe coming out here wasn’t such a good idea.