I sat in Charlie's living room.

"Bella..Billy wants to talk to you.Should I tell him later?"Charlie had the phone in his hands.I rose,speechless,and took the phone.

"Bella.."Billy's tearbroken voice said.

"I'm so sorry Billy.I loved Jacob so much.I don't know what to do with myself."My voice was breaking too.I was a messed up vampire.(i was crying)I was a messed up human.(Edward couldn't read my thoughts)

After I got off the phone,I heard Carlisle's Mercedes pull up.

"Bella!Can you please come out here?"It was Carlisle.It made me less nervous.I went outside.Charlie wasn't upset.He always said "need to know" and I was pretty sure he didn't want to know that Jacob imprinted than tried to kidnap Renesme.And that I'd left Edward.Temporarily of course!

"Hi,Carlisle.How's Edward?I didn't want to hurt him but right now I can't.."I was interuppted.

"He feels terrible.Jasper can't calm him down.Please come and talk to him.Please.Fight,scream,knock the house down.Just get rid of the animosity."Carlisle begged.The father figure came out of this perfect,beautiful vampire.

"I dont know Carlisle.."I looked up into his gold eyes.I couldnt say no."Okay."

I got in the car after I kissed Renesme goodbye and told Charlie I'd be back later.The car ride was awkward.We didn't say much.Carlisle filled me in on Edward's emotional status.When we got to the house I reluctantly went inside.Carlisle had to give me a lilttle pep talk…and push.

"Edward..?"I looked arund.Everyone was there but him.Then out of the corner of my eye I saw him.He ran to me and fell and my feet.If he could cry.Messed up vampire like me,he would have.

"Bella I am so sorry.I dont deserve you." I took his face in my hands and motioned him up.

"I understand what and why you did it.He was just a big part of my life.You did what you had to.I shouldnt have left."I hugged him tight.No one moved.He kissed me.He was still feeling guilty.I could tell by his kiss and Jasper's face.

"Where's Renesme?"Jasper asked.
"I left her with Charlie." I glanced back at Carlisle.

"Don't worry Bella.I'll get her."Carlisle said.

"Oh me too.Come on Jasper."Alice added.

"Thank you Carlisle." Carlisle hugged me.I  never noticed what a strong grip he had.Right now I didn't want to leave Edward.I felt bad but I knew he felt worse.We sat down and Esme sat in the chair next to us.We exhanged small talk.I realized we didn't speak much.Not as much as would have liked to.Rosalie and Emmett were somewhere.Didn't want to think of where or what they were doing.Right then I got a call.I checked my cell phone and it was Charlie.
"Carlisle and Alice just came to get Renesme.You told me you were staying.I kind of assumed you and Edward were a…."His hope left.

"Everything's fine.You did give her to Carlisle and Alice didn't you?"I was concerned.

"Yeah,and Alice's boyfriend came to.Uhm..Jason..Jack?Something like that."I laughed at him."What?"

"It's Jasper,dad."I laughed at him again.

"Bells,"He was serious.

"Yeah."I was concerned again.I wish Jasper would come home.

"The funeral is on Monday.In La Push on the reservation."He said saddly.

"Okay dad.I'll be there."

"Bells,Billy doesn't want Edward there."Charlie said

"He wasn't going to.This is something I have to do alone." I said seriously.I hung up the phone as Carlisle walked in the door.He was laughing and carrying Renesme in one arm.He handed her to Esme who played with her for a second before handing her off to the next Cullen.Everyone got there share before she ended up on Edward's lap.He hugged her tight.Renesme only laughed.

"Bella,I want to un some test on you."Carlisle said.

"To find out why I cried?" I asked.
"Yes.It's odd.Our kind don't cry."He said dazed and confused.

"I was always oddly different."We all laughed.

"That's for sure.Wasn't sure if you could not get hurt before Edward turned you."Emmett said jokingly."I was pretty sure you would break your pretty lil behind."
Edward growled.I put my hand on his chest and he calmed.Everyone laughed.Even Rosalie.I was shocked.

In two days I would be burying my best friend.The one the love of my life killed.Vampire or not,my life was fucked up.