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Kardia Mou – (Chapter: Ch. 4)
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I want to see this poem that represents my writing style.
Sorry this is so heavy, I’ve been writing in my head a lot and it seems wasteful when it doesn’t quite make it to paper.
Hoping you saw great art and enjoyed it 
.
Love and hugs and kisses and maybe a laugh or two,
Miss Ashley
To which she heartbreakingly responded:
Miss Ashley,
It was nice to see you name in my inbox again instead of the e-mail I WAS expecting, sending lots of work my way.
You painted me a lovely picture with words. It is such a nice day, such a warm day. I wish I had more time to dance in the leaves and walk by the river.
Ashley, I need to communicate something to you. This I’ve been dreading, and I found myself wincing as I read your words, because I was scared of what you might tell me, might ask of me. When I reached the end, I knew that an honest response was required.
You know I love you, and I am so grateful for the friendship that has grown between us. I was telling Teri the other day that you understand me better than almost anyone, even my mom. You can anticipate my thoughts and actions, even rationalize them better than I can. I love that. I love how different we are, but still enjoy spending time together. I hope that we can always have this. That I can always text you something stupid and know that you’ll appreciate it. That I can call you to go to Starbuck’s at 10 PM on a weekday and you’ll drop everything to join me (okay, maybe you are a pushover). That while I’m away next summer, I can look forward to your letters. While I am hoping all this will remain, I have to risk it changing at the same time for the sake of honesty. I know what drives you to be a pushover for me, what elicits your praises of me, why you’re always willing to listen to me complain. You’ve made it clear, and I have left nothing clear to you. This might be a shitty mode of communication, and I apologize if it is; but given how it all started, I feel like it’s appropriate.
Ashley, I feel so comfortable when I am with you. It’s the closest thing (yet really REALLY different) to what I had with Aiden. I am so scared of being alone for the rest of my life–you know this. I see my peers entering into "marriage" material relationships, and it scares me. I feel like that won’t happen for me, regardless of how much I want it to. I dream about leaning into someones chest and feeling safe again–gazing at our entwined hands beneath the dinner table–the easy feeling of love. I am easily confused by you, by our relationship, because I recognize your willingness to be that person for me. Our symbiotic friendship gives me so much comfort and reminds me of what it felt like to be in love.
Forgive me for this, but I know in my heart that you are not that person for me.
I have been unfair to you; I have known your feelings and I have known mine, yet bits and pieces of me clung to the idea of having someone again, and in weak moments I truly took advantage of you. For that I am sorry to the point of self hatred. I hope you can forgive me. Know that it was never intentional. My only intent has been to cherish our friendship.
Remember that I love you.
spencer
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I was really scared to keep reading after what you said in the first paragraph, i didn’t know if i should have read into your life or not, but i did, and i just wanted to say, i’m deeply sorry. =[ I’m not trying to be all mushy and what not, cause i know the worst thing to happen when your depressed is to get even more depressed, but having your heart broken may be the one thing that will show you how to love and to find true love. Don’t go by my words though, i’m just a dumb high school girl. I guess you really just have to find it in yourself. But everyone has an expirence with heartbreaks, its just life. I wish you the best, and if it makes you feel any better, you are very talnted at writing, it seems like it comes naturally for you.
wow. that was so sad. I’m truly sorry that you had to cut it short but I completely understand why, I think we’ve all fallen for a straight girl at one point and had our heart crushed by it. truth is my experience was remarkably similar to this story so yea I understand. it was a fantastic story though, one I have loved every word of and I commend you for writing it! hope to hear more from you soon, I love your writing style =)
I rarely leave comments because to me…comments can rarely express the feelings or emotions that go through a reader or even a writer when they’re reading/writing a story. But I felt that I had to leave a comment today. Like I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t. If I closed out the window and went downstairs acting like I hadn’t been affected by your story. Affected in both a good and bad way. We’ve all been where you are…ok not exactly where you are and granted…not all of us have felt that pain. But. I have. So has a lot of your readers as expressed by their comments. My experience? I seem to fall for only straight girls. I guess it’s my vice. I know what I’m getting myself into but yet I can’t seem to stop myself. Mayagray is right though. My first love…granted she wasn’t straight…also wasn’t “ready” for a relationship and we were great friends before I fell for her. She helped me become comfortable with who I am. She eventually severed ties with me in the hopes that I’d get over beings there was no contact going on. She was right. I eventually stopped thinking about her…and yeah I still think about her from time to time…but now…I strictly think of her in a friendly way. And when you do finally get over a love…a love that had tortured your heart…it feels oh so good. But until then….we’re all here to listen because we’ve been there. Reading your story today just brought back so many memories. And it absolutely killed my heart. And I know that it killed yours. Anyway…now that I’ve written a very long comment…lol. I just want to leave you with this…please don’t think that it’s anything that you did. You did nothing wrong by falling for “Spencer”. It’s completely human. And unfortunately (sometimes fortunately) it happens to all of us. But like I said earlier…we’re all here to listen. With love, Kaitlyn
Ugh that was heart wrenching. I’ve gone through that TWICE and it’s completely crushing. You lose the person you’re in love with and your best friend at the same time. The only way I ever got over it was to cut them off. Those feelings don’t go away and if you keep her in your life you risk trying to do something NO ONE should have to do – make someone love you back. It’s impossible. You will have to lose her and with it maybe the most purest love you will ever experience but it has to be done. Unreciprocated love is pretty much the worst thing in humanity. Sorry man :(
i’m doing the best that i can to not cry right now, ( i do not cry easily, so that’s a pretty high compliment). i agree with sonfanforever, i hope to read more of your stuff, you have a talent.
okay so my comments on storys are usualy pretty basic i have to say imm speachless im sad to hear its ending but im more sad to know that in real life your not geting your happy ending with that speacial someone,you might think that this girl is the only one but i garuntee you shes not there are alot of other girls that would love to be with you,i know itas easyer said then done im still geting over someone but there is someone for you i hope you get your happy ending,also i loved the poem it was fantastic i almost cried and i dont cry thank you very much :) pms please :) i cant wait ps. i also agree with mayagray ive had to do that :( but it works its self out :)