**–

Though Clay was pretty much quiet most of the time. It was even quieter today. I was just sitting on the edge of my bed, elbows on my knees. Not moving, I was all out of tears and my mind was blank. All the hurt, sadness…all my emotions were gone. I couldn’t really feel anything.

I stared completely at the wall in front of me. I was fine, but then again how am I suppose to feel after burying my brother? I feel alone…as if I’m the only one going through this when I’m not. I close my eyes wanting to leave.

I had to get up or just go somewhere again. This had to have been my new way of dealing with things. Just get up and go.

I snuck out successfully for once. All the other times I had to have someone back me up in what I was doing. I’m just naturally a good girl, though today…Clay must’ve helped me out a bit. I closed the front door slowly as it caught in place.

I stood outside my front door. What do I do now? I knew my mom would probably have a heart attack if she couldn’t find me, especially now. I went for the handle to open it and stopped.

Just go.

Where I was going? Hell if I know. This is all new to me still…this running away thing. I walked down the drive way onto the sidewalk. Now what?

I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know where I was going. I turned around and made my way back inside.

Dammit!

I shut the door softly, but was still heard. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I just waited to see who it was.

“Clay?”

His smile was so loving as he just looked at me.

I took a step towards him.

I shook my head releasing my daydream as I heard someone knocking at my door, keeping my eyes still to the wall. My mind had just left me as I started to think of my brother. He was so clear and yet he really wasn’t there.