“Not together?” I ask in a whisper. She gives me a funny look.

            “Well yeah…you can’t possibly think we’re still together as of right now.” I suppose I should’ve known this, I mean, I cheated on her, and I could possibly be in love with Ashley, so then why was this breaking my heart? Because she was the first person I felt that I loved with all my heart, and my first long-term relationship. I guess I never really thought about breaking up with her, even though that’s clearly the obvious decision. I feel her watching me as I’m trying to process the fact that we’re really not together anymore. It just feels so weird to say that I’m single. I could actually be with Ashley. Okay…well…under the circumstances, maybe not right away, but perhaps one day.

            I look over at Kyla, who is still awaiting my reply. “Of course I’ll still go to prom with you,” I tell her. She did ask me a month ago, and I did say yes. And it’s not as though I don’t have feelings for her. She smiles at me…an actual smile, and I don’t feel like such a horrible person right now.

            “I just have one more question…” I look at her expectantly. “Do you love her?” I sigh, knowing this question was going to be asked. All I can do is shrug.

            “I don’t even know what love is right now,” I admit to her. “I thought I was in love with you, but if I was, this wouldn’t have happened…right? I mean, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but since I told myself I loved you, I didn’t think it was as bad. But now that I think I may…love her…I don’t know. But I still feel as though part of me loves you too.” She nods her head in understanding. She doesn’t seem happy about the answer, but Kyla’s always been pretty rational, and I think she knows what I’m saying. After a few minutes of silence, I deem it time to head back to school so she can pick up her car and we can go our separate ways. I have to restrain myself from kissing her before she leaves the car. It’s become habit, and it’s discerning to just say bye, and nothing more. Somehow, I’m still as confused as before, and I’m hoping that talking with Ashley will clear things up for me.