“You just don’t get it, alright? It’s complicated and I’d really prefer not talking about it.” An agitated Spencer snapped, glancing over at her sibling.

“Fine. I’m sorry. I support you no matter what, okay? As long as you’re happy.” Clay squeezed the girls shoulder and Spencer felt a knot develop in her chest as tears threatened to rise to the surface.

“Thanks.” The word was a bit thick with the clenching of her throat in an attempt to choke everything down. Luckily they were now pulling into their school parking lot and Spencer was able to escape the eyes of her brother and disappear into the masses.

After collecting her schedule Spencer made her way to her first class, English 12. Two steps in the door she realized with dread that her worst fears had been confirmed. Ashley was not only in her class but seated directly behind her assigned seat. Alphabetical seating charts had never been so cruel.

Ashley looked up, meeting eyes with Spencer for a split second before looking away. She did so for a number of reasons. Firstly she was angry and resentful, upset at Spencer for giving up and for having the gall to be so harsh. Second, Spencer’s eyes looked almost hauntingly empty, and it honestly scared her a bit to look into them after knowing the vivid life they had once held. And third, it just hurt too damn much.

Spencer took her seat, her eyes trained forwards as she tried to calm herself down. But she could feel the heat of Ashley’s stare into the back of her head, and it was making her heart thunder in her ears. Feeling sick she leaned forward, pressing her forehead into her palms as she focused on trying to calm down.

But it was only getting worse. She felt like she was losing control, like her life was sand and it was just falling through her fingers. As tightly as she tried to force her fingers shut the gaps between them were just too large and everything she’d ever done was being reduced to a worthless pile of dust at her feet. A cold sweat broke out the back of her neck, chills working their way down her spine. At this point her heart was beating so fast she was afraid she might just pass out at her desk, her chest feeling compressed as she attempted to breath as normally as possible.