Normally 15lbs wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but Spencer had been thin to begin with. Now she looked more fragile than ever, her frame thin and delicate instead of healthy and strong. Spencer shrugged slightly, looking down at Ashley’s hand, “I haven’t been hungry…”

“…Spencer…” Ashley exhaled, her voice laced with worry, “You can’t keep doing this. Why are you punishing yourself?”

“I’m not, I just can’t-“ She stopped herself before she completed the sentence. But the way Ashley was staring at her so insistently she knew the girl deserved to know the reason, “I can’t eat when I’m not with you, okay? I’m sick to the stomach, all the time. You don’t know what it’s like.”

Spencer turned away from her quickly, grabbing for the towel. But Ashley reached for her hand, pulling her back towards her. When their eyes met again Ashley moved forward, her lips seizing Spencer’s in a show of her feelings that was beyond words.

“Spencer, I do know what it’s like, okay? I do.” She spoke when they broke apart, her eyes pleading with Spencer’s to believe her.

The blonde stared, feeling the cold of her jeans as she hesitated. But eventually her heart overcame her head and she was the one to close the gap between their mouths for the second time. Ashley walked them backwards towards her bed, longing to feel the touch of the girl she hadn’t felt since the first day of summer when it all began. They lay down together with Ashley on top, taking over the kiss as her hands worked to undo Spencer’s braw.

At the same time Spencer was feverishly endeavoring to remove Ashley of all clothing, her stomach trembling with anticipation. She was hurrying; as if she subconsciously knew her brain was going to kick in eventually. And of course, it did.

“Wait, Ashley stop.” Spencer spoke and Ashley pulled away. She reached for a towel to cover the exposed breasts that the brunette’s mouth had been moving towards, and at this point Ashley knew this wasn’t good.

“What? What’s wrong?” The girl inquired, slightly frustrated but too concerned about Spencer to show it.

“I can’t do this…” Spencer spoke, rolling out from beneath Ashley and proceeding to dress in the dry clothes the girl had provided.

Ashley had to hold back an exasperated groan as she turned around to face Spencer, perplexed, “Why are you doing this to yourself Spencer?”

“It’s wrong, okay?” Spencer justified weakly while pulling a T-shirt over her head.

“It certainly doesn’t feel wrong. What does feel wrong is not being able to eat because you miss someone so much. Or being an empty shell of a person because your whole identity has been taken from you. Or being so messed up inside that in class you have panic attacks so severe you have to go outside just to breathe. Now that’s wrong.” Ashley spoke, her voice urgent as she tried to plead some common sense to the girl.

Spencer was speechless, her eyes staring at the carpet. Eventually she drug them upwards until they met Ashley’s, although her vision was blurred by tears, “I just want to be with you…” She spoke softly, choking on her words.

Ashley climbed from the bed and stood in front of Spencer, wiping the tears gently from her cheeks, “Then be with me.”