After her mom died…well, she never did draw us any clouds again. I asked her why once, when we were lying on her bed watching the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling and I don’t think I’ll ever forget her answer.

‘Because dad said mom’s in heaven now and that heaven is far up in the sky. So I don’t ever want you anywhere near there, Brookie. I want you right here with me, so I won’t ever draw you on a cloud again.’

Such simple words, but thinking back on them now means everything to me. Means that she once cared for me, once wanted nothing more than for me to be with her. Today that’s my simple wish.

God, where’s that damn Vodka!

Then while I’m slugging back the last of the little bottle’s contents, the driver pulls the car over. I can see the cafe, see the same old sign on the door and even the same old guy that came in for coffee and sat staring out the window for a good few hours everyday. Peyton drew a picture of him once, drew his sad eyes to perfection and I remember wondering why he sat there each day, why he seemed so sad and lost and lonely.

Now I realize that me sitting in my apartment at three in the morning probably looks a lot like that. Sad eyes and memories of what was, what could have been. The only difference is he’s old and ugly and I’m young and beautiful, that he’s had his chance in life and blew it while I’m finally at the point where I realize this is my chance.

It’s now or never for me. I can walk in that door and take my chance or turn tail and go back to my apartment. Back to only having three in the morning by myself to sit and think of all the things I could have had, of all the things I’ve lost.

And the whole point of coming here was to learn to be brave again, to learn what it really means to be Brooke Davis again, right?

So I step out of the taxi. Another leap disguised as a tentative step, another Superman stunt pulled off by a girl that’s more breakable then she’s ever been. I walk with my old confidence, with that sway in my hips and my chin held high and a smile that I know makes me look both wicked and divine at the same time. Maybe I’ve used that walk and that smile in the last four years, but it’s never fit me as comfortably as it does in this town, it hasn’t felt as genuine.

Sadly that feeling lasts about as long as it takes me to glance in through the window and see my girl with his arm around her. To see her smile so wide and so happy and for the thought to register that maybe the only thing I’ll ever manage to win back is her friendship.

Fucking Tree Hill and it’s freaking tree’s with little girl’s initials carved into their trunks!

And crap! All I got left of the little bottles are Whiskey and I don’t even like Whiskey, but it’ll have to do. I don’t care that it’s eleven on a Saturday morning, that I’m standing in public view, this bottle is going down!

I’m still standing with my head tipped back, the drink slipping warmly down my throat when a voice shatters the silence.

“Brooke?! BROOKE DAVIS?!”

Yeah, thanks for that buddy, I’m pretty sure Victoria heard you all the way back in New York!

I sigh and turn and drop the empty bottle back into my bag, the world spinning a little as half a dozen miniature bottles and two triple Vodka’s finally catch up with me.

“You really do live up to your name, don’t you Mouth?”

That’s about all I get out before I hear the bell above the door behind me jingle and I don’t need to turn around to know who’s standing behind me, to know who’s eyes are burning a hole in my head.

I shoot up a little prayer than, reintroducing myself to God in the hopes of him throwing me a bone and opening the earth wide enough to swallow me, because I’ve never been afraid of anything as much as I am of turning around right now.

Aw, screw it! God never liked me anyway, so I might as well get it over with.

Then with my heart beating heavily and my stomach heaving violently, I finally turn around.

Ha! She totally got fat!

Oh wait, that’s just me seeing double.

“Hey, P. Sawyer.”

Leaps and bounds people, just start calling me Super Girl or something, because it’s all leaps and bounds for me.