My body and mind are being pulled so close to sleep that I feel as if I’m halfway there. I am scared to fall asleep though. What if I wake up and it was all a dream? That would break me in two. I know the only way to stay awake is to create conversation. But I also know that anything I say to first come out of my mouth is going to be ridiculous and random.

“Giraffes are cute.” Yeah, I was right. It was ridiculous and random.

You giggle and pull my hand further into your chest. “Yes they are babe.”

I pull you closer into me and kiss your shoulder. “God, I am so glad you’re back.” I say and I think it is the most honest thing I have ever said in my whole life.

“Me too, I missed you so much.” You say gently and together we grasp each other tighter.

It is then that I notice the inappropriate placement of my hand. My blush is lost in the darkness as I move my hand and apologize for it.

You place my hand right back where it was and say, “It’s okay, it’s just a boob see?”

I smile, “Yes, but boobs are meant for things like this.” I punctuate what that is by squeezing. Your sharp intake of breath means that you liked it. I smile to myself not expecting that to cause anything to go too far for your celibacy.

Then I get to thinking. Do your rules count since we are two girls? Are the rules void for us considering we have already had sex in the past? I push those questions out of my mind. It would be way too soon anyways. It just would not be the best idea.

I respond to your intake of breath the only way I know how. “At least we’ve disproved your theory tonight.”

“Which theory is that?”

“That you are more sensitive than I am these days.” I explain.

“You want to bet?” Her hand slips beneath the blanket onto my bare thigh, scratching and rubbing in all the right ways.

Okay, I know this should be turning me on. Truth be told, though, after over half of a year of meaningless sex, you end up desensitized to it. And it just takes a lot more. To turn me on these days you have to really know me well. And I mean, very well. But I remember the theory is that I am /more/ sensitive than /her/. I have to prove both sides of the theory.