Here is your update! I am still looking for a beta, so please be patient with me and all my mistakes. Funny how I want to be a writer, but I have horrible grammar and spelling. Pfft, irony. Lol, but here is your chapter and some of you are sort of angry at Spencer for cheating on her comatose wife, but sometimes people can’t stop the urge to fuck their soul mate. Haha, just kidding, you guys will figure out why she did it.

Oh and Louie’s hat idea came from Little Children.

I hope that you guys end up liking my Spencer. Over the years she became more independent and hard to the world. She has some things she needs to still find in herself, but it is very interesting writing her and Ashley this way.

Oooo. Sorry. And also I changed what the kids look like.

Love you.

[b]Chapter Three

Guilt.

[/b]

I should feel[b] cruel[/b].

I should feel [b]guilty[/b].

I should have this [b]horrible[/b] pang in my chest.

I should feel [b]depressed[/b].

I should feel [b]sorry[/b].

I don’t feel any of those emotions, and that is what scares me the most.

She is laying there, the machine ticking away every beat of her heart, adding to the accumulative time that she has been lying there. Her reddish brown hair is longer, I know it is. The last time I saw it lively was when we where in the back yard, she was in the grass with Olivia helping her take those precious steps on her own. Louie was sitting in my lap, relaxing against my chest. 

The sun hit her in just the right way to bring out the red color. I loved that. She looked like an angel sent from God.

[b]She was an angel[/b].

I still don’t fell the pang of guilt.

No, instead I feel alive. I feel completely and utterly fulfilled and satisfied. The way my heart beating profusely against my chest and the hunger in my body was telling me that this wasn’t wrong.