‘You want her, you pervert?!’ he asked ‘no go away, not now she needs me’ I hoped he’ll go but I knew that wasn’t enough. ‘You will go to hell for this, come back to me let me show you what a real man is like’ he said ‘no leave me alone!’ I bugged desperate.

"Everything alright?" she asked noticing I have stopped.

"No it’s fine" I replied and she started innocently opening the buttons of her shirt so I could wash her stomach. I stopped breathing. I can’t do this! I jumped up flipping the bowl and spilling all the water all over the floor.

"I’m sorry I’ll get a rag" I said and left quickly I had to get out of there! I remind her of her daughter for god sake! As I was getting the mop I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror I had to wash my face it was reddish and I was so worm inside… I didn’t know how to deal with it I never felt such a need. I noticed my underwear were wet. I had to do something.

At night, flashes of Lucys’ breasts came to mind… her whimpering with the fevers waves became sighs of desire in my mind as I found myself kneading my breasts the way I wanted to fondle hers… my breath came in high pitch as the wetness in my center grow more and more. My lips uttered "Lucy" over and over and my hand reached it’s destination on my throbbing clit. Slowly I circled it with my finger until finally I entered myself with two fingers pumping away. Harder and faster imagining she is beneath me turning her head restlessly from side to side screaming my name with pleasure. Faster and faster I trusted until suddenly I halt all movement. Seconds latter waves and waves of pleasure run through me as my back arched and I came so hard… after long moment of panting I finally allowed sleep to take me.

When I opened my eyes next she was underneath me, shaking, in shock, naked. There was blood on my hands and I understood what happened; I raped her… but I had no recollection of it… it wasn’t me…

"It wasn’t me. It wasn’t… it was him… I’m so sorry so sorry…."

Present;    

"Put the knife down" I heard someone behind me. I could hardly see there were tears in my eyes. Who is it?

"Put it down Angel!" again I heard. I turned around. Ashley?

"No go away I can’t look at you after what… please just let me do this…" I bugged.

"I’m not leaving, now put that knife down." I now saw the big kicking knife I was holding with all its glory, all its potential.

"It was the hardest memory for me to show her…" I said lowly still holding the knife for dear life.

"Lucy?" she asked and I nodded. "She let go again after she saw what we did to Lucy… but it wasn’t us… it was him I swear!" I bugged for her trust and forgiveness at the same time it was too much to ask….

"He did it to you too so I have to end it… he lives inside us I don’t have any choice I promised never to get close to anyone but I see that’s not possible someone will always get hurt, no matter how hard I try…" I took the knife and as if in slow motion I shoved it in my chest. It didn’t hurt I felt relieved.

The blood started pouring in seconds "NOOOOOOO" I heard a scream and after that I didn’t hear anything. I just saw a glimpse of her eyes before I closed mine and the last thing I tasted were her salty tears on my lips.

‘I have hurt her for the last time…’ is my last thought the rest is darkness where I belong…