Mary (to me)-Welcome, Welcome, Welcome…I’m Mary; I’m the founder of True Directions, and you must be Spencer?

Mom (answering for me)-Yes.

Mary (gesturing towards her son)-This is my son, Rock.

Mom-(to Rock) – Hi.

Rock (taking my things)-Pleasure to meet you, Spencer.

Mary (to me)-Looks like we got you just in time. What are you, about seventeen?

Mom (to Mary)-Yes.

Mary(to Mom)-Almost lost her to college…It’s so much harder once they’ve been through all that liberal arts brainwashing, but we’ve saved a few.

Inside

“I’m in Mary’s office now; she’s explaining to me that it’s a two month program based on five steps; admitting you’re a homosexual, rediscovering your gender identity, finding the root of your homosexuality, demystifying the opposite sex, and simulating heterosexual intercourse.”

Mary-When you see a woman, in a tight skirt, and her long beautiful legs, or perhaps she’s in the bathroom, putting lipstick over her full lips, or maybe in the locker-room, soaping her body…rubbing her breasts…You don’t have any unnatural thoughts?

Me-I don’t think it’s unnatural.

Mary-Ah-Ha! You see? You don’t even think it’s wrong.

“Oh great…here comes one of my “fellow campers”, her name is Hillary, and she’s going to show me around.

Hilary-Okay, rise and shine at 7:00, Breakfast at 8:00, Group Therapy until Lunch. In the afternoon we have free time to do…um you know, whatever, and then we move inside for reorientation exercises, Family Therapy on the weekends.

Meeting Ashley

“We’ve entered our room. It’s a big open room with a bed for each of us girls. Everything in it is bright pink just like Mary’s clothes.”

Hillary-This is where we sleep, but no inappropriate behavior allowed.

Me- Inappropriate? Like swearing?

“This girl with short dark hair named, Ashley just interrupted our conversation from across the room on her bed smoking a cigarette.”

Ashley (to me)-No, inappropriate like fucking.

Me-Oh.

Ashley-You get caught in the throes of Sodomy, au revoir.

Group Therapy

“Its group therapy time and everyone is introducing themselves. Uh oh, its Ashley’s turn…She tells Mary that we’ve met already, but Mary makes her stand up and do it anyway. ”

Ashley-I’m Ashley and I like girls…a lot!

“There’s something I like about this girl…not like, like, more like admire. She’s so different from everyone I know. My mom would hate her, but I think it’s good that she speaks her mind, no matter how wrong she is. I wish I could be like that sometimes.