"Jayce proposed."

"Oh."

He pulled me in closer to him and I lost all control and began crying again. I didn’t think I had any tears left in me but I was wrong. He hugged me as I broke down on his shoulder.

"I love her. So much. And she loves me back! What we have started long before he even came into the picture."

He awkwardly patted my head as if I were a dog. Despite my current state of break down I laughed a bit. I managed to stop crying then.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I’m leaving. Stuff’s packed. You turned out to be the detour of the moment."

"Where you going?"

I shrugged.

"Don’t know. Guess I’ll find out when I get there."

"You sure that’s the best move to make? Running away?"

"Ryan what the fuck do you expect me to do? I’ve given her everything I could possibly give. She knows what she means to me. I thought I meant the same to her. But I guess she’s going to let her fears and insecurities win out and live a lie. She’s going to marry him, have a house, dog, kids, mini van, the whole nine."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe that’s not what she wants? If what you two have is so powerful don’t you think she’s going to be thinking of you every second of every day. Possibly regretting the decision she made?"

"It’s her choice. And apparently she made it. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t sit around here and pretend to be happy while she looks through bridal magazines and plans the perfect honeymoon. I can’t be her secret any longer. I have to move on and get my shit sorted out before I go crazy."

"Okay. But don’t you think you should talk to her before driving off to God knows where? Maybe give it one last shot?"

"Jesus Ryan! What the hell do you think tonight was? You know that song was for her, about her. Hell even Jeff and Will know that. Do you have any idea, any fucking clue, how much it hurts to be in love with someone that you can’t have? Have you ever experienced that level of unrequited love?"

I stood and paced in front of him. I was amazed at how upset he was making me. I never yelled at anyone. I wasn’t one for confrontation so this was all very new to me. But in a way it felt good to be able to shout about the things that were making my life a living hell. Everything he was saying brought my fears back to the surface. I was so afraid to leave her. There were so many things I’d miss. Little things I’d grown to love about her. The way she clicked her tongue when she was deep in thought. The way she ran her fingers through her hair. How she always put her left shoe on first.

Ryan’s heavy sigh brought me out of my thoughts. I’d nearly forgotten he was there. He was slouching slightly with his arms on his knees. I looked into his eyes but this time I saw nothing but sadness.

"Yes Ash I do. I know what it’s like to love someone so much that you’d do anything for them. No matter how stupid or cheesy or fucked up it may be. And unlike you I know what it’s like to not have that love returned at all. At least Spencer loves you. You’ll always have that. No matter how far you run or how hard you try to push her out of your mind, she loves you back."

I was dumbfounded. I knew by the look in his eyes he was talking about me. Suddenly my situation seemed slightly less complicated.

"Ryan, I’m sorry."

"No. This isn’t about me. I just want you to make sure you’re doing the right thing before you do it. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. And I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore."

I reached over and pulled him up for a hug.

"Thank you. But this is what I need to do."

With a final hug he left. I went inside and collected my bags to throw into my car. I took a last look around, not knowing when I’d see my place again. I shut the cursed door, got into my car and drove.