After assuring Arthur I’d be alright and that I’d call him if I needed anything I headed to my car. The drive back seemed to take ages. His proposal kept ringing through my ears, causing a fresh flow of tears making the road ahead of me one big blur. In a way it resembled my life. Completely distorted. Nothing made sense to me. How was it that one person could cause so much heartache?

Somehow I made it home. I won’t lie, I thought of driving off the side of a cliff to end the pain. It seemed a logical thing to do. But I thought of the pain it would cause her and decided against it.

I pulled in the driveway and cut the engine. I was so engrossed in my thoughts I didn’t see the figure standing on the porch.

"Hey Ash."

I saw the spiky brown hair and blue eyes. Ryan.

"What are you doing here?"

"Mr. Carlin called me. Wanted me to meet you here. Said you might need someone to talk to."

My face must have reflected shock and confusion. He chuckled lightly.

"Sit down. Talk to me."

He sat on the patio and patted the spot next to him. I sat but made no move to talk. I loved Ryan like a brother but we had never had any heart to heart moments with one another. I felt slightly uncomfortable. The stone beneath me was cold and hard, much like my mood.

"Ash, I know you’re going through some hard shit right now. So let it out. I’m all ears."

At this I laughed. Ryan had big ears and we all loved to joke about them around him. He grinned and draped an arm around me.

"I already know, so you can just tell me. Maybe you’ll feel better."

That caught me completely off guard. What did he mean ‘he knew’? What did he know?

"What exactly do you know?"

"Ash, Jeff and Will may be completely oblivious but me, not so much. I know about Spencer."

My eyes went wide and my heart began to race. I never thought that any of the guys had given my affection for Spencer a second thought. I looked up into his eyes and saw that he was genuinely concerned for me.