I took a few steps toward her. I really wasn’t sure if my mind was tricking me into thinking she was there. It had to be the longest couple of seconds of my life.

"What are you doing here?"

She looked shocked through her tears. In my defense, I really hadn’t meant for it to sound so unfriendly. It had been five days, very very long days, and the sight of her threw me. I had no idea why she was there and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to know. She opened her mouth to say something but all that came out was a strangled sob and she slid back to the floor. I wanted to rush to her and throw my arms around her and let her know it was okay. But it wasn’t really. She had no right to be there while I was trying my hardest to forget about her, even though I knew it was nearly impossible to do so.

"Where’s your knight in pleated khakis?"

She looked at me, confused. I felt a wave of anger wash over me. She had no right to sit there crying, looking at me the way she was. She was the one who completely crushed me.

"Ash… we.. need.. to.. talk."

"Fine. Talk."

She lowered her head while trying desperately to get her crying under control. I felt horrible, standing there not doing anything. But I needed to be strong.

"Well obviously this is difficult for you to do Spencer. How about I start then? I can’t believe you have the nerve to show up here. I mean God, in the span of a week you were with me and then promising yourself to him! You are the only person I have ever loved and I know for a fact that you’ll be the only person I can ever love. And it kills me. Because he gets to have you. Why should he be the one who gets a forever with you? He doesn’t know you at all. He’ll never, ever be able to feel for you the way I do. I thought I could handle it all, I really did. The secrecy and hiding and your fear of anyone finding out about us. I tried to push it to the back of my mind and just focus on a day at a time. But really hoping to God that you’d finally realize that you and I, we aren’t wrong. We’re actually very right together. If you need proof just compare me now to when you met me. I don’t think anyone else could have helped me get my shit together the way you did. And then he shows up and it’s like all of the sudden you didn’t care about how much you mean to me! And then to top it off you keep seeing us both. It’s like, I don’t know, like you wanted him but wanted to give me just enough to keep me hanging on or something. I know that that’s partly my fault too. I should’ve said no to you but I couldn’t. I can never say no to you Spencer and you know that. I know you do. And I had never thought about it before this week that I spent crying until I literally had no tears left, but I feel used. I know with my past that I really have no right to be upset about it but it hurts. It hurts like hell. You managed to show me what love is and how to love and what it feels like to be loved back. And then you showed me what it is to be utterly heartbroken. Since we met, all I’ve wanted is you. To be with you forever and then some. Maybe I was asking too much in hoping for that. Maybe I had us figured wrong. I don’t really know. All I know now is I’ll never be the same again. Whether that’s good or bad is up to fate I guess."