Ash,
I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m a coward and I’m
sorry that you’re finding this out via a letter and not to
your face, like you deserve. You deserve so much more that
this but I cannot face you.

Okay is her town north or south from here? East or west? Is
she taking a connector train or going straight there…is
she even going home? She could be going straight to her
grandparents house, or she could be going to her brother’s
school.

You will convince me to stay and that’s what I need to not
do. You’ll tell me that everything will be okay and I know
it won’t be. They found out, everyone will find out soon
enough and I can’t face it.

“FUCK!” I quickly brought my hand up to my mouth but too
late, I’d let it slip and it caused at least 4 people to
turn and look at me, my bad people.

There were only three trains that were departing in the next
5 minutes, it had to be one of them assuming that I hadn’t
missed her already. I don’t know what I’m going to say
to her when I see her, probably a good bye would be a decent
start. I proper goodbye. I know if I tried I could get her
to stay, but she didn’t want that. If anything I want her
to be happy even if that means I’m unhappy. I just want to
give her a hug and tell her that I’ll be here for her when
she is ready.

I’m taking a train home early, don’t try to stop me, it
will just make it harder. Maybe a week away from each other
will be what is best, I’ll have time to clear my head in
Florida while you visit the West Coast, when we come back
maybe things will be better, but who knows.

Where are these trains departing from? Tracks 1, 8 and
13..oh awesome. Couldn’t possibly give me a break? Ugh
fuck it, eeney meeny miney 13. Such an unlucky number,
don’t ask me why I picked it.

Here I am again literally sprinting through out this
station, I felt like the opening scene of home alone as
they’re running through the airport, if only there was
some kind of cheery Christmas music to make this jog more
enjoyable.