Spencer’s POV

I love the way she makes me feel, I say to myself as I look at the brunette sitting next to me. For the most part the ride back to my house has been silent, filled with ocasional glances and smiles, neither of us wanting to ruin the moment by saying the wrong thing. We come up to my street, and I see Ashley begin to look around for a parking spot.

” You can park in the driveway.” I say pointing to my house.

” What about your dad?”

“He’s not home for the next few days. He had a seminar to go to or something.”

“Oh…okay.” I see her take a deep sigh, and she lightly begins to tap her nails on the steering wheel.

“Nervous.” I say jokingly. She turns to me and smiles before pulling up to the driveway and killing the engine. We sit there for a moment. I think about the events that had happened that night, and I couldn’t help but feel a little dizzy.

” Thanks for taking care of me tonight.” I say breaking the silence. ” I couldn’t have made it through without you.”

“No problem Spence. Besides someone had to make sure you didn’t spaz out.” she retorted ” We both know how you get when your stressed.”

“What!” I snapped back. ” I’m a doctor!! I think I handle stress very well Ms. Davies.”

” Ya, right! As I recall the last time we ran into one of your exes, you decided to go tequilla crazy!!!”

” I wasn’t that bad. I did only have a couple of shots, you know.” I said trying to defend myself.

” A COUPLE!!! You’re not serious, Spence !! A couple is like one or two, you had fifteen to be exact…..and let’s not forget your little table top dance after.” She grinned. ” What was that song you were dancing to?”

“Goodies.” I say defeated. Ashley burst out laughing, placing her head on the steering wheel.

” Are you done???” I asked as she continued laughing histericaly.

“Oh…..God……Spence.. Your goodies didn’t stay in the jar that night!!” She manged to sputter out.

“SHUT UP!!!”

” AHHH SHIT!” She screamed grabbing her purse. ” My phone’s vibrating.”

I sat there, and watched her answer. Judging by her sudden change of mood, I could tell it was Jessica. My heart sank a little. This whole night had been so wonderful. It was as if only Ashley and I existed, and now, seeing her talking to her “actual” girlfriend, it made me realize that Ashley wasn’t mine, and that she never will be. I take in a deep breath, before stepping out of the car. I could hear her calling out to me, but let’s face it. It was past midnight,and our little Cinderella story was over.

I walk up to my room, and begin preparing for bed. Changing out of my outfit and into a tank top and boxers, I walk into the bathroom. I lean onto the sink counter, and examine my reflection in the mirror Just let it go Spence, she’s never gonna leave her. After removing my makeup and brushing my teeth, I walk back into my room, startled to see a figure leaning against my doorway.

“Hey” She says stepping into the light. She had changed into a small t-shirt and boxers, however her hair was still perfectly in place, and her makeup untouched.

“Hey” I whisper to her softly.

“I’m sorry about earlier.”

“There’s no need to explain, Ash” I say taking a seat on my bed.

“Yes there is.” Her tone was sincere, but I couldn’t do this with her anymore.

“Why Ash! Tell me why do you need to explain! We’re just friends, that’s all.”

She lowered her gaze and shook her head in dissapointment. I just looked directly at her, my gaze unwavering.

“Well?” I ask crossing my arms across my chest.

“You know that’s not true Spence.” She said looking up to meet my gaze. Any other night that line would have had me running into her arms, but not tonight. Tonight I was tired of the game and all the innuendo. Tonight I just wanted the truth.

“Then what are we then Ash? I am so tired of the way we relate to each other. We just keep dancing around in circles, analyzing every little God damn thing, and to tell you the truth i’m sick of it. We never get anywhere. We’ve been stuck in the same place for ten years, and it’s time to grow up.” I throw my arms to my sides, frustrated. ” I’m just so tired, Ash. For once in our adult lives, I just want us to be honest with each other.”

“Me to, Spence, I just want to be honest with you” She whispers

“You think your ready for that honesty.” I ask, looking at her quizzicaly

“Yeah, Spence, I do” She says smiling at me.

I look into her eyes, hoping to see some sort of clarity, but as usual, I can only see confusion and fear.

“Because honesty changes things Ash. It complicates. So you better be sure you’re ready for all the things that come with it.” I say bluntly.

Her smile fades, and tears begin to form in my eyes. I knew she wasn’t ready.

“Good night, Ashley.” I say defeated. I turn to walk away from her, when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

“Spence, wait.” She says, softly.

I spin around, and she reaches out to caress the side of my face. Cupping my cheek, she begins to close the distance………

________________________
Ashley’s POV

Ignoring my fear, I leaned in and touched my lips to hers, intending to be gentle. Ten years of pent-up emotions came out in that kiss. There was a fire burning between us, as Spencer sought my lips with an urgency that I never could have imagined she had. She kissed me as if we were about to be separated, as if we would never see each other again. She kissed me as if she had been kissing me forever. Our lips fit together perfectly. When I feel her lips part slightly, I slip my tongue between the space. Meeting hers in between. I hear her sigh as our toungues dance around each other, and I realize that this is what I want. This was what I’ve always wanted. I wrap my arms around her and moved my hands through her hair, down her neck and back, over her hips, feeling her response. She arched her back and pressed herself closer to me, fusing our bodies together tightly. She kisses me harder, her arms around my waist. She moaned aloud softly, causing a rush of warmth to spread across my body.

“Ashley,” she breathed, pulling her mouth from mine for a moment.

The reality of what we were doing washed over her. She pulled from me, reluctantly almost, but pulled back. I was left holding her arm.

“Spence,” I started to say, but she cut me off.

“Ash, no. We can’t do this.” Her eyes were closed. She was trying desperately not to cry. I could feel that she wanted this. It was as if all the desire and love she had felt for so many years had all been released, and now that it was out, she was having a very hard time holding it back. She opened her eyes, and looked at me.

“Please, Ashley,” Spencer whispered quietly, closing her eyes again. She looked as if she were in pain. And she was, internally. Her mind was raging.

I can’t let her go, I thought. I was filled with such a strong need, a need to be with her, to be close to her. I *needed* her, for God’s sake. The tension in the room was palpable. It was as if there had been an electrical current set loose. Everything else in the room had faded into the background and the only space, the only air left, was the air between the two of us.

“Please, Ashley” She repeated

This time, I let her go, watching her arm fall to her side. I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears. She was all over me, her essence still lingering in my senses. I looked at her one last time, before turning for the door.