Doreen lent over me, blocking the blinding afternoon sun. Sobbing, she kissed me gently. Her salty wet tears fell on my face before I shouted at her:

‘Now get the hell outta here!’

As I lay on the warm grass, staring up at the afternoon sky, I felt the agonising pain in my stomach start to fade. It would soon be over. I’d had it. I didn’t want Doreen to see me die. She had to run and get away.

‘Bloody bastards!’ my last words. Laying there, alone, I watched as a single plane sliced a white line across the sky. Then nothing.

By nothing I don’t mean darkness, tunnels of light or angels. I mean just that, no pain, nothing. I was still there. I could see my body on the ground, but I was standing next to it now.

So, this is what death is like. After Gary had died, I’d wondered what he’d felt and seen and even wanted to see and feel it too. Karen had talked me out of it and now I was dead anyway. Would I get to see Gazza again? Maybe we could have that farm after all, poor little bugger.

I could see Dor, she hadn’t gone far, stupid cow. She needed to run otherwise what was the bloody point?  She was shouting at a group of sticky beaks that had crowded round her. Ah Jeez Dor whatta ya doin? Y’ gonna end up back inside.

I reckon I know Doreen better than anyone, and not just because I’ve been to bed with her. We’ve really shared stuff while we’ve been out. Stuff about people we’ve lost – her mum and dad and my girlfriend Donna. Doreen can’t do this on her own. She needs me right now; she could lose her head if she’s alone. I’m gonna stick with her for a bit, make sure she’s okay. So I followed her.

Of course she headed back to Wentworth. She was already tired of running before today. She was probably hungry too, she always bloody hungry. She lives by her stomach that one. She woulda gone back days ago but I was determined I was never going back.  Looks like I’m going back now.

It’s a weird feeling, taking over someone’s body. You are still you but it’s like wearing a costume. I can see the world through her eyes and hopefully I can toughen her up a bit otherwise bloody Vera will be on her case again. Doreen was my only friend in there but I didn’t always treat her gently. When I think of the names those other dumb moles called me ‘Bulldyke’, ‘animal’, ‘sick’. They drew all over Gazza’s plans and tried to ruin my chances of parole. I know Dor was involved too but I reckon I owe her. And if I could have a bit fun with those other bitches while I’m helping Doreen out, then I’ll give it a burl.