Bette had finally stopped tossing somewhere around 2:30am and seemed to be resting peacefully. Tina reached out and retrieved her watch from the bedside table. Propping herself up on one elbow she angled the watch to catch the glint of the moonlight streaming through the window. Squinting her eyes she made out that it was just after four.

With the evenings events still fresh in her mind Tina had not slept. The pain she had caused Bette wasnt intentional and she felt sure that there was worse to come. Bette really didnt seem to get how big their problems were. Did she really think that a few days away was going to solve it all? Tina shook her head imagining what Bette must have thought when she raised the issue of making love. It was just so easy for them to hurt each other. To avoid it they practically had to walk on egg shells day in day out. Conversations about their relationship had begun to resemble walking through a mine field. Eventually one of them stepped on something and there was always carnage.

Tina didnt want to walk on egg shells, nor did she want to be the cause of any more pain for either of them. Right then she made a decision. She made it in the knowledge that it wasnt the option a stronger person would have taken but she didnt feel strong. She felt weak and defenseless against what was to come. The decision made she fastened the watch to her wrist and slipped from between the covers careful not to wake her partner..

Picking up her jeans off the floor she slid them on. Next she discarded her tank and replaced it with her bra and t-shirt. Taking the band from her wrist she threw her hair up into a loose pony tail.

Pulling her bag out from under the bed she placed it gently on the mattress, cursing herself for unpacking it. Silently moving to the large chest of drawers she quietly pulls the top left one open and removes the contents.

What are you doing? Bettes weary voice cuts through the darkened room. Tina turns to find Bette with her eyes open and intently fixed on her.

I cant do this Tina declares, her clothes resting on one arm she tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear with the other hand.

Do what? Bette tries to catch up with the scene before her.

Thisthis whole retreat thing. I cant do it Tina moves to the bag and shoves the clothes in before turning back to the chest for more.

T, hang on, just wait a minute Bette sits up in the bed, adrenaline running though her veins.

I need to go back to town. Theres stuff I should be doing to prepare for next week. I dont have time for this

Tina, stop Bette climbs out of bed and intercepts a neatly folded t-shirt as Tina moved to put it into her bag. In that instant she becomes lost in the softness of the cotton in her hands Baby, whats wrong?

Nothing, IIve just got to get back to LA Bette reaches out and takes hold of Tinas right wrist with one hand and bends her head to read the watch face.

Its four-thirty in the morning

Theres a coach that leaves at six, all I have to do is call a cab

What?

Its fine, really, Ill be fineits only a two hour trip and I can get Alice to pick me up from downtown

How do you know? Bette swallows hard, fearing that she already knows the answer.

Know what? Tina asks impatiently

That theres a bus to LA at 6:00am?

IumI looked into it last week. Its just too much Bette and Im not ready to deal with everything. Judging by the way you took off last night I dont think you are either. Why are we doing this to ourselves?

Bette takes a deep breath and captures Tinas left hand in both of hers, grasping it gently until her wife ran out of words. She looks up and holds Tinas eyes with her own, looking for a clue, a scrap of something to help her understand.

I love you She whispers across the pre-dawn silence Why are you leaving me?

Tina looked into the face of her partner and saw Bettes eyes reflecting her own fears.

Please dont leave me here Bette pleaded

Tinas fearful expression gave way to sadness.

I thought I could do this but I was wrong Tinas failure weighed heavily as she made her confession Its overwhelming me, I feel like Im drowning

All the reasons for her decision 10 minutes ago still hung in the air but Tina knew it was wrong to walk out on Bette in the middle of the night, she deserved better than this.

Bette pulls her gently into an embrace. Sliding one arm around Bettes back Tina buries her head into her lovers neck and holds on.

I wont let you drown Bette whispers as she holds Tina tightly Baby, please dont go

Im so ***** scared right now Is the muffled reply

I know you are, baby Bette turns her head to kiss Tinas hair Im sorry for walking out like that last night. I should have stayed and talked to you, listened to you. I want to work this out, T. I want us to come out of this together. Tell me what I can do to help you?

A brief silence fell as Tina digested what Bette had laid down before her.

Hold me Was the whispered reply Dont let me go

TBC